Page 60 of Illicit Illustration

My pulse raced as Reid’s gaze never left us, his mouth pulling into a wry grin when he noticed I wasn’t really paying attention to the man standing a foot away from me who was still talking.

Breaking eye contact, I tried to return my focus to what was being said.

“I’m sorry. You’re busy. I should’ve waited and not interrupted you at work.” Christian smiled that boyish grin—one that once made my stomach flutter, only now I felt nothing other than annoyance that those flutters were absent.

“Yeah. It was great to see you. Sorry we’re too slammed to properly catch up.”

“That’s alright. I’ve got a feeling I’ll be seeing you again. I can be patient.”

I frowned, realizing I may have missed more of what he’d been saying than just a few words. But as the line cook motioned toward the orders piling up in the expo window, I didn’t have time to find out what.

“I’ve gotta go.”

“Of course,” he said, smiling. Before I could anticipate his next move, Christian was leaning in for a hug, his lips grazing my cheek. “It was great to see you, Hazel.”

I blushed furiously as he stepped away, a wink aimed in my direction before he made his way through the bar and settled at a booth full of his teammates.

A whistle from the kitchen startled me out of my daze and had me trying to focus on my job, but not before I glanced at the table in the corner.

It was empty. Reid was gone.

By the end ofthe night, I was more exhausted than I'd felt in a long time, but I knew I'd never be able to sleep with worst-case scenarios floating around in my brain. I just wanted to shut it all off and sleep away this feeling of foreboding that'd lodged itself in my chest.

Annie and I were the only two remaining in the bar at the end of my shift, her flipping the chairs upside down on the empty tables and me wiping down the glasses coming out of the dishwasher so they were clean for tomorrow.

"Big reveal coming up soon?" she asked, throwing the soiled rags she'd used to wipe down the tables into the bucket below the counter that I needed to remember empty into the washing machine before I headed upstairs for the night.

"Yeah, I guess." Although I couldn't manage to muster any excitement about it right now.

Annie brushed past me, grabbing a couple of shot glasses from underneath the counter and a bottle of amaretto. While I rarely drank because of my meds, it seemed she knew I wasn't a fan of the hard stuff.

"I think you need one of these," she chuckled, using her fingertip to push one in my direction while she picked up the other. "What are we toasting to?"

"Fuck if I know," I muttered picking up the shot and holding it to my lips.

"To getting the good dick." The wink she aimed at me had a smile pulling at my lips, but I doubted I'd be getting any dick anytime soon, much less the good kind.

Tipping the shot back, I swallowed and shuddered at the burn as it slid down my throat, warmth spreading through me. "Pretty sure I'm never going to getanydick."

Annie laughed, grabbing the shot glass and refilling it, pushing it back in my direction as she leaned her hip against the counter of the bar. "Sounds like there's a story there."

"How did you know that Jay was the one?" They seemed to be close, and I knew that he spent a lot of time here hanging out with her when she was bartending.

"Oh, he's definitely not," she laughed, giving the shot glass next to me a pointed look until I finally picked it up and shot it back. "But what we have works for both of us right now. He's never really been emotionally available and that was part of what drew me to him. I'm not interested in something serious and he's too much of a man child to want to settle down. We're both getting what we want out of our arrangement, and if that changes, we end it."

Being an emotionally unavailable man child seemed to be a Harding family trait that he shared with his cousin.

"And you're okay with that?" Maybe I was expecting too much from both him and Seven. What had started out as me trying to divest myself of my unwanted virginity had turned into me daydreaming about companionship and commitment. Things I wasn't sure either of them could give me.

"Yeah, I mean, it works, and the sex has always been off the charts, so I guess I never really thought about looking for more than that. I know we won't end up together, but until one of us meets someone else, we enjoy spending time with each other. He's one of my best friends."

"Maybe I need to lower my expectations," I mumbled, my fingers spinning the empty glass on the smooth wood of the bar as I thought about taking a chance with Reid and not expectingsomething more than just friendship and temporary companionship from him. Maybe he wasn't capable of giving me more than that.

"Nah, he's down bad for you. I don't think you'd need to lower anything if you gave him a chance." Frowning, I looked up at her, but she just raised a knowing eyebrow. "I've never seen Reid fall for anyone, but judging by the way he looks at you, he's well on his way."

"No, he's not… I told you…"

"You can deny it all you want, Haz. But I can see how you look at himtoo. I guess what you need to ask yourself now is if you're willing to do anything about it."

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