Page 46 of Illicit Illustration

And I had a feeling he wouldn’t want me to either. Which was something I hadn’t expected a week ago—that he would encourage my affection and look at me like he wanted what I had for so long. What I still did. Even if it was a terribleidea.

Even if it meant risking something real developing between me and a man I’d never met.

“Spill. Because the nervous lip chewing you’re doing over there is driving me nuts. It's going to bleed if you keep it up. And I like your lips how they are.”

“What?” Eyes wide, I shoved the rest of my pizza in my mouth and turned to face him.

“You heard me, you have pretty lips, and I’d hate to see you destroy them because you’re nervous about something.”

“I have pretty lips?” He’d made fleeting compliments in the last week that had surprised me, but this one was the most jarring.

“Yes, you do. And I’d rather you stop abusing them and just tell me why you’re nervous instead of getting yourself worked up over there. Lips like yours should only be abused for one reason."

I wasn’t even sure how to respond to that. No one had ever called my lipsprettybefore. And I hadn’t realized Reid had been paying enough attention to mine to notice that they were.

Reid finished chewing and tossed his plate near mine, scooting closer and draping his arm along the back of the couch behind me. “Please tell me what’s bothering you? I promise I won’t tease you.”

Turning toward him, I blinked hard, not realizing his face was quite so close, but I also didn’t want to move away. “I don’t know how to get into character for the next picture.”

His warm breath coasted over my lips, and I should have been worried about both of us having pizza breath, but I was also enjoying the affectionate gaze currently aimed in my direction.

“I’m not going to be judging your form, if that’s what you’re worried about. All of my clothes will stay on the entire time, and you can just focus on recreating the scene based on the book. Or maybe you can channel some memories of the last time you…”

He trailed off, swallowing hard before he glanced away. Maybe Reid was having just as hard of a time talking about specifics with me as I did with him.

“That’s the problem. The last time…” I hesitated to finish the sentence, because there hadn’t been a last time.

“I’m sure your technique is fine, kitten. It’s always more about the enthusiasm than the handiwork. Just try to look like you’re enjoying yourself.”

But that was the problem. I had zero personal material to draw from. Reid’s dick was the only one I’d seen in real life. Which was a complete accident and slightly mortifying considering what else happened that night. And if he found out the truth, I was pretty sure I’d die of embarrassment.

“But I don’t know—”

“You need to quit second guessing yourself. Most guys don’t care what you do as long as you—”

“Stop, Reid,” I cut him off, my voice rising. “Just stop. I wasn’t kidding when I said I didn’t know what I was doing. I literally don’t know what I’m doing.”

He blinked, tilting his head as his brows furrowed. He stared at me for a long minute before his eyes widened in realization.

“Like you’ve never…?”

Shaking my head, I looked away from him, hating that I was this inexperienced, because I was sure he felt sorry for me. And having the guy you wanted to do naughty things with feel sorry for you because you were an inexperienced virgin was a new kind of humiliation.

“Are we talking that you’ve just never given a blow job, or…?”

Clearing my throat, I tried to find my words. No matter how hard this was to confess, I wanted to tell him. I needed to tell him.

“The only one I’ve seen not on a video screen is yours.”

Hazel

The look he gaveme in response was priceless. A heavy dose of confusion mixed with curiosity flittered across his features, and then he pinned me down with the one he settled on.

Determination.

“Explain. Because I think I would remember if somehow over the last few weeks I showed you my dick.”

“It wasn’t recently.”

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