Page 14 of Wolf Marked

Chapter Five

Every intake of breath was like a knife to Astrid’s lungs. A mob of questions clogged her thoughts, and her head pounded. How did this happen? How long had her father been like this? Was he ill? There had to be something she could do to snap him back and make him see he was speaking nonsense. Mother was dead. She’d been gone for ten years now and could never come back. But he knew that; he must have. He’d been the one to find her after the bear attacked. He’d held her body, saw the life leave her eyes.

Astrid didn’t know how long she’d knelt there in the snow, crying into her hands, with her conscience nagging at her for not seeing the signs sooner. The moments she had with him were brief. They almost always involved him scolding her for disobeying him. Actually, the more she thought about it, the more she realized she spent her days purposefully avoiding his overprotective gaze and overbearing demands. She’d been hiding from the one person who needed her most.

Her throat stung from the strain of yelling and sobbing, but no matter what she did—shake him, scream, force him to look her in the eyes—her father’s attention would always shift back up to the sky. He was right in front of her, but she was losing him; she was helpless.

“Astrid…” A gentle pressure on her back caused her to look up. Through her blurry, teary vision, she could make out Erec’s hard frown and stormy eyes. He took her hand away from her face and, with a gentle tug, pulled her to her feet. Instantly, the frigid temperature of the early morning seeped into her bones, freezing her from the inside out. Even wrapped in her thick fox-fur coat and layers of clothing, she was colder than she’d ever been before.

The soothing warmth of Erec’s hand clutching hers was there, and it called to her. The desire to fall into him, let him encase her in his strong arms and hold her close, seized her suddenly. Even if only for a minute, so she could feel like her world wasn’t sinking into bleak, icy depths. She leaned forward, but before their bodies could touch, his fingers slidaway from hers and he stepped back. The comforting heat of him vanished, and the chill returned.

A bluish vein appeared across Erec’s creased brow, as if he battled with his own thoughts, and regret curled in Astrid’s belly at the rejection. She scolded herself. Of course, she was asking for too much. They were strangers, after all. He was a rogue wolf, here to help their pack stop Jerrick. It was foolish to think he’d hold and console her, and treat her like anything more. Her sorrow was muddying her common sense.

Wrapping her arms around herself to keep out the growing cold, Astrid turned toward Boden’s tent and her brother. Filip stood silent and still beside the wagon, his expression stoic, unreadable. Rage flared in her chest. He had known about their father’s delusions, and he chose to keep it from her. They were supposed to be family, a unit, and he betrayed her.

Astrid wiped away her wet cheeks with the back of her hand and stomped toward him. She blamed herself for not recognizing her father’s illness sooner, but he didn’t have to lie to her. She should have never found out this way. He should have never kept her in the dark.

“Why, Filip? Why didn’t you tell me?” Her scratchy voice clipped at the end, and she swallowed to relieve her raw throat.

Filip’s nostrils flared, but his face remained smooth of emotion. It only irritated Astrid more. A knot coiled tighter and tighter in the center of her chest. “How long?” she strained. “How long have you been lying to me?”

His brown-eyed gaze darted away from her. He didn’t want to tell her the truth, even now. She could see it on his face.

“How long?”

“After Mother died…” he muttered.

Astrid locked her knees to prevent herself from spilling over. That was ten years ago. He’d been hiding it from her for all that time? And she’d been blind to it? Her fingers curled into a fist, the urge to strike her brother making her muscles rigid.

Erec’s warm hand pressed onto her shoulder as he came to her side. “Astrid, I know what it seems like. Just listen to him. Let him explain.”

She wasn’t sure she wanted to. It scared her to think there was more she didn’t know. But Erec’s closeness was reassuring, and she didn’t understand why.

“I know you’re mad at me, Ash. Believe me. I never did this to hurt you.” Filip heaveda sigh. His face paled, and his lips tugged down at the corners. “I think this was Father’s way of dealing with Mother’s death. It destroyed him.”

Astrid glanced over her shoulder. Her father had quieted, and his head hung low. The throbbing ache behind her ribcage deepened. Losing her mother had been painful for her, but she had never considered how it must have been for her father. Boden was always stern, focused, and protective. A true alpha. He was the strongest shifter she’d ever known, in every way. And that’s where she’d gone wrong. She’d assumed he’d handled their mother’s death like he did everything else.

“Father will come back.” Filip’s raspy voice shook her from her thoughts. “He fades away, but he always comes back.”

“He’ll get better then?”

Filip hesitated before answering. The anxiety growing inside him was a storm Astrid could feel through the link that joined them. “Every day his mind slips away a little more. I…I don’t think so.”

Her stomach churned. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“He didn’t want you to worry.” Erec gave her shoulder a light squeeze.

Filip nodded. “I was just trying to protect you from it, Ash. I never—”

“Protect me?” There was that word again. It jabbed at her like an angry hornet’s stinger every time it flew from someone’s lips. Her tone spiked in annoyance. “Why does everyone want to protect me?”

When neither of them uttered an answer, her gaze narrowed on her brother. “Do me a favor—from now on, stop protecting me. I mean it.”

The crunching of heavy footsteps made them all turn. Boden’s massive frame came toward them. His round cheeks were bright red, and tears glittered in his wiry beard and mustache.

“Father?” Astrid searched his face for any traces of the father she knew. Unlike with her brother, a light caress of confusion and sadness radiated from her father’s wolf aura. Even the alpha sheen that usually shimmered vibrant gold around his frame had dulled since the last time she’d seen him. “Is that you?”

Boden blinked, not hearing her question. A haze still clung to his stare, but when he spoke, his voice was the same reverberating bellow she knew and loved. “Is everyone packed up and ready to move on?”

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