I take a moment to gather my thoughts, the memories rushing back. “I rose through blood and sacrifice. I threw myself into training, into battle. I became the fiercest warrior, the mostcunning strategist. I did whatever it took to secure my position, to protect our people. But I did it fairly, with an eye on the future. And, I admit to mistakes.”
“Noble.” Eleanna’s eyes shine with admiration and something else, something deeper. “You’ve achieved so much…But at what cost?”
I meet her gaze unflinchingly, the weight of my choices heavy on my shoulders. Because she’s refusing to hear what I’m saying. “We are different, Eleanna. I’m trying to forge new ways, to protect, yes, but build something better. You sacrifice to cling to old ways.”
“Perhaps, perhaps not, Alexandru. Sacrifce,” she says. “At what cost to you?”
“The cost of my soul, perhaps,” I confess, the words raw and honest. “And for the sake of our kind, for the sake of those I love, I would pay it a thousand times over. I would try, if I were monarch, to find a better future, at my own personal sacrifice. What of you?”
Eleanna’s expression softens, a hint of understanding in her eyes as she listens. “But I do try to do the best, you must know that. Sometimes the burden of leadership can be a heavy one to bear. Yet it’s the choices we make along the way that define who we are.”
I nod. “Yes, every decision we make shapes our path, for better or for worse.”
We resume our stroll through the courtyard, snow falling gently around us.
“And what about love, Alexandru? Have you ever allowed yourself to be vulnerable in matters of the heart?”
Her question catches me off guard, stirring emotions I had long buried beneath layers of duty and responsibility. The wordyoucomes to mind. I pause, considering her words carefully before responding.
“Love has always been a luxury I couldn’t afford. The battlefield’s my home, my purpose. But I don’t see love as a weakness, my fallen Queen. It’s a strength that can give courage to face even the darkest of days.”
Eleanna’s gaze softens, and a gentle smile appears on her lips.
Longing sluices through me, mingling with the weight of the responsibilities that have defined my existence.
Eleanna reaches out and touches my hand, the contact warm and comforting. “But vulnerability is a weakness. And your family? I never… Where are they now?”
I take a deep breath, grappling with the emotions flooding me. Opening up about my family is something I’ve avoided for so long, but something in her beautiful gaze makes me want to share.
“My family... they’re all gone,” I say slowly, the weight of my words heavy in the air. “Lost in the conflicts that have defined our kind for generations. I was just a boy when I watched as they were taken from me, their lives sacrificed for a cause I couldn’t fully understand at the time.”
Eleanna’s eyes fill with compassion as she listens intently, her presence offering solace among the turmoil of my memories. “I’m so sorry, Alexandru. To endure such loss at a young age...it must have shaped you in ways I’m only now beginning to comprehend.”
Does she? Truth is, it hangs over me, but I was a boy centuries ago. And time has a way, usually, of smoothing things down. But I give her what she wants. “Their absence has always been a shadow, a reminder of the price we pay for our loyalty and dedication to our kind.”
“The sacrifices we make in service to our people can be overwhelming,” she says, sounding every part of someone of her royal station.
It’s not lost she never asked me these things years ago when she was hellbent on being the queen she is before me, the one shaped by her father and her inherited ambitions. That’s what hurts, not old memories, the fact she’s full ambition, and strong, perhaps too strong, but inherited ambitions aren’t her own. She never got the choice to form those.
But winning this war is not unlike the battlefield. Right now, she needs me to be vulnerable so she can let her own feelings safely out. She has potential and I thought when I ordered her to my bed and my role as her king would be one of pure strategy with perks. Instead, I’m finding I want to play out the battle with end results that are real, pure of heart. Her and me together in every way.
But these kind of battles take strategy, and she’s her own personal army. I need to be clever. Push and kneel when I’m maneuvering her where I need her to be.
I sigh softly for her. I’m not lying, just tweaking my truth in ways she’ll understand. She’s growing, a tender yet hardy sapling, and I can’t tread her into the snow.
“I’ve always carried their memory with me, a guiding light in the darkness,” I say. “But it’s also a burden that weighs heavily on my soul, a constant reminder of what I have lost and what I fight to protect.”
Eleanna slants her head, meeting my gaze. I don’t think she knows I mean her.
“Your strength is evident in your resilience. To carry such a burden and endure to fight for the future of our kind... it speaks volumes about the depth of your character.”
“Thank you, my Queen. I am honored to serve by your side.”
“I would have it no other way, Alexandru,” she says, her voice firm but laced with a tenderness I’ve never heard before. “Your loyalty is unwavering, your dedication unmatched. You are the general this realm needs.”
For a moment, I glimpse the woman behind the ruler, and the ruler she could also be. The glow of her irises illuminates the chambers of my heart kept in the dark for so long.
“My fallen Queen, I...”