Page 66 of Till Death

I hated being the one to bring about this come-to-Jesus moment, because I had to watch Andre’s expression fall. He was a good guy. Good enough for a vampire, at least, but I kept those thoughts to myself. I just didn’t belong to him. I wasn’t his forever girl. Not when I took my feelings for someone else into consideration.

“Look,” I said as I stepped forward. Probably baiting where I shouldn’t by touching him, considering how I’d had to shove him off me. “Thank you for everything. I mean it. We wouldn’t be here today without your help. Please don’t take this as a dismissal.”

We also couldn’t afford for him to retreat with his vampires.

“Andre, say something.”

We wouldn’t be able to keep up this fight forever and we all knew it. I didn’t want to lose any more friends, but I also didn’t think we’d be able to make it on our own if Andre decided to pull out his warriors, so to speak.

The fact that he’d come to my rescue at all had my guilt growing by the second.

Still, lines had to be drawn. Boundaries had to be maintained, because what I felt mattered too. My emotions had to matter outside of this fight.

At long last, Andre let out a terse sigh, his shoulders sagging forward. “I am still willing to fight for you, Jade.”

“Please don’t fight for me,” I begged. What didn’t he understand? “Fight for the others. Fight for the people who aren’t able to defend themselves. I can’t be yours.” Not when I’d given away the important pieces of myself to someone else.

“You misunderstand me.” His eyes turned hot, but sadness took away from the effect he surely tried to achieve. “I am sorry for it.”

He inclined his head before storming out the door and taking something of mine with him. I just wasn’t sure what it was yet.

Andre was abandoning us. All because I’d made the stupid mistake of sticking up for myself and telling him I didn’t want to be with him. Pushing him off me probably hadn’t helped, but I needed to make myself known. He couldn’t just do whatever he wanted with me.

And what was wrong with me? Because at once I kind of wanted to cry. My eyes stung and I kept a tight leash on the tears to make sure they didn’t escape. I shouldn’t be upset about standing my ground.

The look in his eyes had definitely given me pause, a sadness he’d never explicitly state and I wasn’t even sure I’d seen in the first place.

No sense in focusing on whether Andre may or may not be hurt about what I’d said. I’d drawn the line and made my stance on our romance clear—a.k.a. we had none.

Although it wasn’t like I had any hope around my love life. Not anytime soon.

Alone once again, I turned to the demon trap and stared for a long time at the huffing Halfling there. His fangs had grown and there was nothing human anymore about his hands. They were full blown claws ready to rip and tear flesh better than Freddy Kreuger.

Our eyes met.

“Andre doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” I told Cole softly. “None of them do. I’m going to find a way for us to fix this, a way that doesn’t involve murder. At least you know I’ll never give up.” Taking a step closer to the trap wasn’t a good idea.

Getting into the trap with him? Probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Or afterlife.

“I will never give up on you. Everyone else can take a back seat. Maybe I’m fooling myself, but I’d rather be foolish for you than anyone else.”

Maybe I wanted to prove Andre wrong.Eliwrong. Maybe I had to prove it to myself that Cole was still inside the creature I watched.

He watched me as well, and although smoke curled from his nostrils, he didn’t move a muscle. He sat with those red eyes locked on me while I waited to see what he would do.

He was still in there. I knew it; now, how did I prove it to everyone else?

“Once we get through this next wave of Halflings and demons, I’m going to focus on finding a way to save you. I don’t care if I have to go to the ends of the earth. You’ve held out this long. You’ve been so much stronger than I ever thought. I’m going to be strong for you.”

If only I believed my own words.

His condition remained unchanged. Which could be a good thing or a bad thing; I still had no fricken clue. In probably my stupidest decision to date, I ended up falling asleep inside the demon trap. Exhaustion pressed me down before I thought to move because, eventually, no matter how hard you work or how hard you run, things catch up to you.

Bad Jade.

I didn’t remember dreaming, and more than likely they were nightmares if I did, replaying encounters of everything I’d been through to date.

Until I woke to a bloodcurdling screech.

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