Page 35 of Monstrous

He throws me toward the couch and I hit the arm. Falling to the ground with a cough, the air knocked out of me.

“Goodness, this has been fun,” Walker says calmly as I choke and gasp. “However, I’m running out of patience. It’s time for this to end now. Then we can get out of here and start the rest of our lives together. The way we always planned.”

He snaps his fingers and the shadows obey him immediately. The blank paper bursts into embers as I watch.

“What are you going to do now, Mari?” he asks with a jeer. “How are you going to stop me now?”

A roar pours from my lips as those embers drop from his hands, heading for him with such force he actually looks surprised. We collide once again in a furious crash of my fists against his magic. Hatred sets on me like a drug and I lash out with a fist. I make contact somehow, sending blood flying. I’ve never fought anyone before, but with so much fury spinning inside me, I continue to swing at him, letting the years of pent-up emotion to flow through my fists.

Walker cries out in alarm as I dive on top of him. A dark desire for pain swirls through me as I throw my elbow into whatever part I can reach. Somehow I manage to hook my leg around his throat this time, pressing against him with all of my strength. Watching his eyes bulge and his lips turn a strange and sickly shade of blue. Terror takes hold of him and I have to say, it feels good.

It feels so damn good to lean into my power this way.

Until his shadows come up behind me and rip me off of him. My choke hold drops before the shadows send me flying through the air. I lurch backward with teeth bared and slam into the wall this time.

My certainty deteriorates right along with my hold on him. I fight to rise to my feet with a desperation that matches the terrifying beat of my heart. A slash of pain in my head begs for my attention and my fingers come away covered in blood.

Still the three men remain where he’d left them, held feet above the ground. Staring at me in terror as though they saw my death rather than their own.

Walker sends more shadows for me and I roll away from their grasp with a curse.

But I know what I have to do.

And I don’t need any damn paper to do it.

Walker continues to strike at me with his magic, whips of darkness snaking out to lash at me while I dodge. Smearing a hand over the headwound and slapping my hand against the wall.

“Do you really think you have what it takes for this, Mari baby?” Walker taunts. Shadows slam against me and my eyes widen in alarm as the darkness at my feet seems to thicken into a shield.

Which one of my monsters just helped me?

I lift a brow at Walker. “Funny. I managed to conjure you before I even knew what I was doing. Now I’m much more knowledgeable.”

I can conjure the light, can’t I? From happiness.

I’m taking a risk by closing my eyes and focusing on my memories. The good and the bad, because they make me who I am today. I think back on the love that Zane, Arc, and Vexx have shown me. The absolute pure bliss of their caresses and how good they make me feel. How they’ve been there for me even when I wasn’t aware of them, never faltering in their protection.

I think about my mom and how she’s shown her concern. Even calling the fire department on me came from a place of love. I think about Krista and her offer to take me out to lunch, just to spend time with me. There have been so many shining moments among the years of fog. Even the pills helped me in their own ways. They got me through the bleak moments where I couldn’t save myself.

There’s been a lot of good in my life.

I also think of Walker, and the memories are no longer colored by the pain of his loss.

When I finally open my eyes, I see a blaze of light reflected in Walker’s horrified gaze as he stares at me. At the monster he created in me.

“I’ll be gone for good,” he says in a last-ditch effort. Trying his best to break through the shadow wall my monsters have created to keep me safe. “Is that really what you want? You’ll be responsible for my death, Marianna. Really responsible this time around. Are you okay with that?”

I grimace. “I’m more than okay with it.”

It’s time for me to face my fears, and I can tell who is going to win.

Instinct guides me as I smear the blood along the wall in one of the first sigils I ever drew. At the time, I’d been daydreaming, just swirling my pencil around the paper while staring up at the clouds in the sky and letting creativity move me. I remember the day with perfect clarity.

Never realizing what I was doing had consequences.

Now I draw those same lines in confidence and pray it’s enough, harnessing all the happy feelings I’ve experienced over the years. Remembering my time with Zane in the alley, with all three of them in the bedroom, until a slight smile plays across my lips.

A flash of light tells me the sigil is complete.

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