Page 34 of Eternally Yours

As if hearing my thoughts, he went on, “If I let you drink from me again, I don’t know if I’d be able to stop myself from taking from you, too. Or acting on the primal, sexual desire to mate with you. And if we do that…” He rotated his shoulders as if working an uncomfortable feeling from his back. “If we do that, we’d complete the bloodbond. We’ll become bloodmated and there’s no going back from that.”

Another slash to my womanhood. Nicholas didn’t want any attachments to me. Physical or otherwise. But he enjoyed toying with my body and my emotions, nonetheless. Knowing the effects his blood would have on me, he’d still offered it to me at his apartment. He’d let me grind my body against his raging hard erection. And just before, he’d pinned me up against a tree and given me a taste of his forbidden fruit. Taunted me with desire and my need to feed.

But along with the disappointment and distress of his rejection, came hatred. I felt betrayed by his actions and by my own body. “Fine then,” I said. “We don’t need to feed off each other. I’d rather drink from the bag. I trust it’s more sterile. Cleaner.”

An unsettled look frosted over his eyes. Good. I liked that I could wound him just the same.

“So, we're clear, this is not about you,” he added, as if sensing I needed his reassurance.

Fuck you, I wanted to say. But that would’ve been the third time, and I didn’t need to encourage him. And I didn’t need his reassurances either. Always the self-assured prick.

“I don’t believe in my family’s archaic ways of deciding who gets to be bloodmated,” he went on, pacing by the fireplace. “I choose who I want to be with, but the last thing you need is to be bloodmated to me.”

“Oh, really. Is that so?”

“Trust me.”

“Enlighten me.”

“When it comes to vampires,I Domeans forever. As in eternally forever. I’m not prepared to offer that.” He eyed me intently—the message crystal clear. “To anyone.”

“Well, excuse me, Mr. Emotionally Unavailable, Commitment-fearful Prince. Whatever gave you the impression I’d want that with you anyway? I’m not prepared to offer forever either. Especially to some guy I just met. Like I said, I’d rather drink from the bag. Cleaner.” I made sure to emphasize that last word very carefully.

“Yes. You’ve said that.”

“Good. Then I guess it’s settled. Next?”

Walking toward me, he extended a hand to help me stand. “How about a snack before bed?”

I stared at his hand and clenched my teeth. My temples pounded from the building pressure. The bite of his confession stung. My pride was wounded from it, despite my own reservations of sharing forever with a stranger. Yet, I still didn’t even want to look at him, let alone touch him.

On cue, a chirping sound from my new watch on my wrist vibrated. The sunrise alarm. “Well, would you look at that? It did come in handy,” I said sharply. “I’m going to listen to the damn thing and go to bed.”

Ignoring his hand, I stood and spun on my heel, walking into the single bedroom. I closed the door a little too hard, and the wooden frame rattled from the force of it.

Whatever. I didn't care.

Fuck him.

Fuck all of this.

I needed to just get through the next couple of days, learn whatever it was I needed to survive, and separate myself from this vampire for good. I didn't need to stick around forever like some pet of his. His Beastie, as he’d called me several times. I didn’t belong to anyone.

Finding new sheets and pillows in the small closet, I made quick work of redressing the bed in fresh linens. I could hear Nic grumbling to himself in the other room, but I tucked myself in and ignored it.

The room had no windows, for obvious reasons, but although it was pitch black, my new eyes afforded me some night vision. I stared up at the small ceiling fan spinning above me, praying to fall asleep so I could stop thinking about how fucked up my life had become. Then a knock sounded at the door.

Before I could respond, Nic said, “Sure you don’t want to feed before going to bed? You’ll sleep better.”

The memory of the last time I fed from a bag in front of him blasted through my skull. The bag hadn’t been nearly enough to fill me. And the cold, iron-heavy taste had made my stomach cramp with disgust. But when he’d offered me his neck—when he’d let me bury my fangs into his flesh and allowed me to pull gulp after gulp of his life-giving force, I’d almost sucked him dry. He’d tasted like brown sugar and honey.

But it had been the warmth of it as it trickled down my throat, spreading that heat throughout every single fiber of my body that had made me addicted to it. Addicted to him.

I took a deep breath through my nose and inhaled his scent. Even separated by walls, I could smell him as if he were lying next to me. I hated it as much as I loved it. The fact I craved blood like I was some type of animal repulsed me. But I couldn’t deny I’d enjoyed how it had made me feel. Feeding from Nic had made me feel invincible. Invigorated. Strong. Like no one could ever touch or hurt me.

It had also knocked my libido into hyperdrive. I’d never admit it to him, although the asshole had probably sensed it anyway. Regardless, being bloodmated sounded creepy. I had no desire to be a part of it. Especially with some arrogant, mysterious vampire prince who needed to be knocked off his high horse. So, no. I didn’t want to feed from a cold blood bag, particularly anywhere near Nicholas if I had a choice.

“Loren?” he asked, rapping his knuckles against my door one more time.

---