Page 18 of Eternally Yours

I pressed my lips into a hard line, hating having to burst her fantasy. “That means one human per feeding. Like I said, being a vampire comes at a cost. Without constant replenishment, our cells atrophy at an accelerated rate too.”

The news deflated her spirits. She sank into herself, leaning back against the wall opposite me. Shaking her head, she sucked in a resigned breath. “I’ll learn to live on one pint.”

She was trying so hard to hold on to every last ounce of her humanity. It broke my heart to see her turmoil. Her pain was my fault. I took full responsibility for that, but I also had to take full responsibility for telling her the hard truths, even if it carved me in half.

“It doesn’t work like that,” I said. “We require more sustenance than a typical human would. It’s why you’re insatiable. Newborn vampires are especially dangerous because of that. You need to learn restraint, or you’ll become susceptible to bloodlust.”

She sank to the floor, all her joy snuffing out entirely. Walking toward her, I reached for her hand, wanting to offer her comfort. I’d taken so much from her. I knew that. But I could give her so much too. I could teach her a better way to live this new life.

She accepted my hand, and I pulled her up into a hug. She rested her head on my chest, heaving out a sigh of relief, as if she felt secure in my arms. The notion filled me with sensations I had suppressed for too long. But as wonderful as they should’ve felt, the emotions were unwelcomed. I couldn’t have this with her.

Separating from our embrace, I took a couple of steps back and stuck my hands in my jeans pockets, regretting not averting her beautiful blue gaze.

Wiping a smudge of wetness from the corner of her eyes, she said, “I’ll simply drink from the bag like you do.” A joyless smile traced across her lips. “No risk of killing anyone.”

“You have no choice but to drink from the bag, at least until you learn restraint.”

She cocked her head. “What do you mean? There’s a point in this little journey of mine where I graduate to feeding from humans?”

Better to avoid that topic altogether. If I told her about blood hosts, she could change her mind about the bag. “You know what, it’s getting late, and we need to rest before hopping on the road.” Ushering her back to the bedroom, I followed behind her, unable to keep my eyes from the way her body swayed under the robe.

My mind flipped with images of what we’d just done in the kitchen and my dick didn’t take long to react, hardening in my jeans until it felt uncomfortable to walk. First thing I needed to do once she went to bed was get her new clothes. And replenish the blood she’d taken from me.

"Why am I so tired all of a sudden?" she asked softly. “I was feeling great before.”

“Your body is getting used to the new metabolism. It’s expected of a newborn vamp. Think of it like a puppy full of milk. Once it’s fed, all it wants to do is nap.”

She turned to face me, stopping me in my tracks, and forcing me to place my hands over my groin to try and hide my fucking erection.

“Did you just compare me to a dog?” she asked, hiking a brow.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Hmph.” She turned back around and ambled toward my bedroom, pausing at the entrance before pivoting back toward me. “And what about you?”

“What about me?”

“What are you going to do while I sleep?”

“I’m going to grab some shuteye myself.”

Her eyes widened, and I couldn’t read if it was an invitation to share my bed or a warning not to.

“On the couch,” I added, hoping to set the boundaries. Catherine was right. I couldn't mate with Loren. Sleeping with her would seal our bond. And that was a problem I didn’t need on my hands. “I’ll make sure to have some clothes for you by the time we’re ready to leave.”

More questions hovered in her gaze, but she turned and walked into the bedroom. Only when the door clicked close did I let my guard down, releasing the tension from my muscles. I pulled out my cell phone and sent Antonio a quick text. Antonio was a human friend I hired for my daytime chores, like collecting the blood bags from the hospital, or making the weapon trades when clients wanted to meet in the day.

I told him to pick up some clothes for Loren, doing my best to guess her size, and then told him to drop them at my door. Normally he'd come in to chat, but with Loren still unstable, it was too dangerous to have a human around.

After confirming the clothes drop with Antonio, I sat down on my couch and tried to rest, but my mind wouldn’t relent with the barrage of images. Loren’s needy mouth, her lustful eyes. Fuck. And her scent? It had latched onto me like the fangs she’d buried deep in my neck.

I jumped to my feet and hurried to the guest bathroom in the hallway. That meant passing the bedroom and my inner beast didn’t hold back from reminding how fucking incredible Loren had felt pressed against me. Forcing my eyes away from the bedroom door, I rushed into the bathroom and stripped myself naked of my Loren-scented clothes. I was going to need to burn them. And those were my favorite jeans.

Letting the hot water scald my skin, I tried to wipe away the images of us in the kitchen, but the harder I tried to forget the feel of her lips, the more my body craved them. I needed to relieve the sexual tension building inside me, or I wouldn’t be able to restrain myself from barging into the bedroom and seducing her beast.

My Beastie…

Fisting my cock, I thought about the feel of her thighs wrapped around my waist. About her warmth and ...fuck… her wetness. I pumped harder, imagining myself slipping my cock deep inside her, biting her neck, and feeding as I fucked her. Shit. The way her lips had felt against my skin. And that tongue as she licked my neck. Ah hell. I pounded on the stone wall of the shower as I brought myself to a less than satisfying release, my body quaking, knowing that the only thing that could truly squelch this fire would be owning the one woman I couldn’t have.