Page 73 of Eternally Yours

“I’m sorry,” he uttered.

His words were acid on my wounded heart. I didn’t need—didn’t want—his pity. “Don’t,” I ground out with a growl. I knew how much he detested Loren. His sympathy was unwelcome.

“It’s better this way. What she was… it was unnatural.”

In one breath I had him pinned against the wall, my forearm pressed across his neck. “And what the fuck are we, then?” I demanded, my eyes digging into his, searching for logic. There was none. “We shouldn’t exist either.”

“She was a danger not only to our kind but humans as well,” he coughed, my arm cutting off his oxygen. “You knew that.”

“Wrong,” I spat. “I saw a thing of beauty. A creature unlike anything we’d ever seen. She was everything we couldn’t be and you saw her as a danger because you refused to embrace something you couldn’t understand.”

“I was trying to protect those I loved.”

“So was I.”

“I know,” he admitted. “And I’m sorry for your loss.”

I continued to search his eyes for answers. For the first time since my rebirth, I wished he’d been lying. That he was being the cruel, unemotional bastard I’d always known him to be. That he wanted to chastise me by making me believe Loren was dead.

But all I saw reflected in his ancient gaze was the torment of his truth.

My universe collapsed.

Tears welling in my eyes and lips taut, I asked, “How did she die?”

He said nothing.

“Answer me,” I hollered, knowing my rage was the only thing keeping me together. My father could’ve easily overpowered me, especially in my current physical state, but he let me cast all my anger out on him.

He tried to speak, but I’d been pressing too hard on his neck.

Releasing my hold, I stumbled backward. “Please. I need to know.”

Rubbing the side of his face, he said, “After Catherine disarmed the collar, Loren was too distraught when she saw what she’d done to you. The Iron Guard brought her to the med unit. We tried administering a sedative, but the Order destroyed her before we could help. They must’ve implanted some kind of failsafe explosive device in her brain in the event their plans didn’t pull through.”

Feeling lightheaded, I slumped into the armchair by my bed.

“We did everything we could,” he continued, but his words sounded muffled, they felt distant. “I’m sorry.”

In all my immortal life, my father had never apologized for anything. Yet, there he was, telling me he was sorry for the death of my mate. A union he’d cursed from the moment he found out about it.

I still couldn’t believe it. My heart wouldn’t allow it. Somewhere deep inside, it was convinced it was still tethered to Loren.

Did I trust wholly that my father had nothing to do with Loren’s death?

I’d known him far too long to discount the possibility he could’ve played a role somehow. But I couldn’t prove it. What I did know was that the Order had orchestrated the attack. They kidnapped her. They strapped that damn device around her neck and unleashed her on my coven. As far as I was concerned, they were responsible.

My movements slower than I would have liked, I shoved past my father and trudged to the door.

“Where are you going, Nicholas?”

I didn’t turn around. “To pay the Order a visit.”

“Are you mad? Have you seen the condition you’re in? It’s been three weeks since the attack and you’re still not fully healed.”

I spun toward him, fists clamped at my sides, nearly tripping over my own feet. “What would you have me do, Father? They killed the woman I loved. It was my responsibility to protect her and I…” I squeezed my eyes shut, the ache in my chest a tempest of misery and disappointment. “And I couldn’t even do that.”

He took me by the shoulders, bringing me closer to him. “Now you have a responsibility to your family. Your union with Mariellena will join our families. We’ll be stronger. As a united front, we will be able to take down the Order. But only after you’ve fulfilled your duty and honored your word.”

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