Page 14 of Christmas Spirits

“But the veil thinning has been allowing spirits to cross over more often. The building should be overflowing with them, then. Not deserted.”

Another shrug. “Let’s just count our blessings and knock on some wood. We definitely don’t need any more trouble than we already have.”

He was right. Did it really matter why the spirits were gone? It did make things easier for me, after all. Better to just push forward and not think about it.

We continued at a slower pace. I could see my mother’s door just ahead on the right, and my stomach soured. I wasn’t sure I was ready to do this. Confront her again and the truth of her deterioration. And for the first time, reveal it to Laurence, someone I loved.

Would he think any differently about me? Would he wonder about my mental stability or Zach’s future? They were all things I worried about, so I’m sure he would consider it, too.

In front of room 309, Laurence took both my hands and pulled me to a stop. “Before we go in there, there’s something I have to tell you,” he began, making sure to keep his voice low to match the overall silence of the building.

I blinked. “Oh?”

“I know you’re anxious about this, but I wanted you to know that no matter what’s behind that door, it’s not going to scare me away. And when you’re ready, you can share this part of your life with me. It’s on your terms, on your time. I love every part of you. Even the dark, hidden stuff.”

I smiled up at him. That was one of the many things I loved about him. He wasn’t only a jokester, someone who could make me laugh at the drop of a dime with his favorite movie quotes or actor impressions, but he was super sweet, too. Understanding. Sometimes he said these things that were so moving—like now—that I was left speechless.

If only he could see himself like I did. He could be just as powerful of a spellcaster as Arianna if he believed in himself more. Maybe even more so.

“How did I get so lucky to have found you?” I said, pressing my face into his chest.

Since he was so much taller than me, he could rest his chin against the top of my head. Which he did often, like now. “You? With you and Zach, I’m the lucky one.”

“Speaking of Zach,” I began, “let’s not bring him up while in the room, okay? I’m not ready to introduce him to this part of my life yet.”

“I understand.”

We stayed like that for a few more minutes, enjoying the comfort of each other in such a tense and stressful situation. At least for me. When we finally pulled away, I turned on my heel to fully face the door and drew in a deep breath. Grabbing the handle, I pushed it open.

I stepped into the one-room living space, my eyes instantly going to my mother laying in the bed with layers of blankets piled on top of her. With eyes closed and body stiff, my heart clenched at the frail sight of her. She appeared dead; only the slight up and down movements of her chest revealed she was asleep, more than likely deeply sedated by medication. Dressed in a pink muumuu, one I had seen her in many times before, her hair was hidden by a bandana and her cheeks were sunken in more than I remembered.

Walking over to her bedside, tears prickled my eyes. My visits in the past had brought out every emotion a person was capable of feeling. Anger from the moments of feeling abandoned by her, pity for her and myself, fear for her future in this place… and the list went on and on. At this moment, I was thinking about my son and how she had no idea she was now a grandmother, and maybe never would.

I wasn’t sure if I even wanted Zach to know about her, either. Was that fair of me to do? I didn’t know. But part of me didn’t want him to see her so weak and possibly get his hopes up that she’d get better when it wouldn’t happen. Like I’d done so many times before.

I couldn’t put that pain on him.

“Mama, it’s me. Katherine.” I spoke to her unmoving form like I used to. She didn’t respond, didn’t even flinch at my voice. Just continued to breathe evenly in her peaceful, drug-induced sleep.

Why had I come here again? How was she going to help me figure out how to keep this dark spirit away when she wasn’t even conscious?

Feeling foolish and embarrassed, I headed back toward the door where Laurence waited and waved him to step back into the hall. He stayed put.

“What? What happened?” he asked.

“This was a stupid idea,” I said in a rush. “I shouldn’t have dragged you here. I don’t know why I thought she could help…”

“She’s the only other Medium you know,” he answered for me and peered her way. “And your mother.”

Moving further into the room, he ushered me back inside and closed the door behind him.

“You don’t understand,” I began. “She’s too drugged to even open her eyes…”

Behind me, there was a soft grunt, then the clearing of someone’s throat and my words died on my tongue.

Laurence’s gaze lifted. “Doesn’t look that way to me.”

Slowly, I turned.

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