Page 118 of Cherry Auction

“I love you,” he whispers into my hair.

I shudder again beneath him.

Does he know what it means to me for him to say that?

Does he have any clue?

I could die right here and be complete. I could disappear, and give Anna the wholeness I know she wants, finally at peace.

But… I blink my eyes several times… I don’t think I will.

Or maybe it’s because I can’t.

Maybe it’s not a choice either of us was ever capable of making.

He loves me.

Me and Anna, each just shattered pieces of a fractured whole. In the shards of the mirror, I think I begin to see the light grow brighter on the room that isus.

And front and center is our framed picture of the boy.

Donny.

The love of our lives.

You could be called Mads. One of us should be.

I still.

It’s so rare for the girl and I to communicate directly without Dr. Kim to facilitate. Usually we’re too angry at each other.

But here, with half of Domhnall’s weight on top of us, it’s easier to be close to her. Just like she felt closer to me whenshe was with him even when our father had made her forget me entirely.

The boy loves us, I tell her.

I know he does. He asked us a question. You should give him an answer.

Will we ever be enough? What if he deserves better?

We all deserved better. But now I think we all deserve to be extraordinarily wild with happiness, no matter if that means occasional tough times. So that means we deserve each other.

Well fuck. When did you grow up and get so wise?

When you weren’t looking.

Domhnall rolls all the way off of me and curves me into his chest. “Fuck, you alrigh’? I was too rough there at the end.”

“Yes.”

“Fuck. I’m so sorry, I’m so feckin’ sorry. I’ll never do that to ya again, I swear, I’ll—” He drags his hand down his face and tries to move away, but I only haul him closer, shaking my head.

“Don’t say that!” I cry, throwing my arms around his waist. “That was the best fuck Mads has ever had.Yes, she’ll marry you. I mean, we’ll marry, you.”

My cheeks get hot, which is ridiculous, considering this man literally just fucked me ten ways from Sunday. I’ve got the memories, but I didn’t feel any of the pain. I think that might be more of a Mads-and-Donny thing when they get in aparticular mood. I’m a light-pain kind of girl, I think. But I’m happy to let them play in the dark together to let their demons out.

Domhnall’s eyes have been dancing back and forth between mine but they finally settle. “Anna?”

I nod.

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