Page 102 of Cherry Auction

The fury from moments ago is taken over by exhaustion. I’ve barely slept the last week. I kept wanting to call and talk to Br—to Anna—but it’s not like we ever exchanged phone numbers. And when I called Moira, she always said Brooke was sleeping, or resting, or some other equally infuriating excuse.

I drop a kiss on Anna’s forehead, trying to see if shetwitches or gives any other indication that she recognizes me. No matter how tired, I expected us to throw ourselves into each other’s arms the second I got home.

Why didn’t Moira tell me what’s going on? Did she not know? Has Professor Roberts been blocking her from visiting Anna? Or did she and Dr. Ezra convince Moira it was best to leave me in the dark? Do they think I’m part of Anna’s trauma?

Aren’t you?

My back’s still raw from my last punishment, but in spite of my exhaustion, all I want to do is go belt myself until I’m fucking bleeding again. It’s the only other thing I’ve been thinking about all week. But I thought, if I could just get back and pull Anna into my arms, it would all be okay. I’d be all right. I could get through the compulsion.

Now, though, that I know she’s hurt in a way far deeper than my flesh wounds could ever go? And that all my previous notions of control are totally fucked? I can’t get control back.

Control is just a fucking illusion.

So what the fuck am I supposed to do now?

I stand up.

“I’m going to go wash up,” I mutter to Professor Roberts and Dr. Ezra. “Let me know the second she comes back around.”

Professor Roberts looks to Dr. Ezra like she’s not sure she should agree to my simple request, which makes me want toscream at both of them to get the fuck out of my house again. But he just nods, eying me.

I start to walk out of the room, but as I pass, he puts a hand on my shoulder. I look at him incredulously. “You wanna lose that fuckin’ hand, boyo?”

He doesn’t look the least intimidated by me. He lifts his hand, but not before saying, “You know, I’m here to offer a listening ear to you as well. This is a difficult thing.” His head nods the barest bit back towards Anna. “What the two of you are dealing with.”

I glare at him. “Just see to it she’s taken care of. I don’t fucking trust you and if you hurt her in any way, I’ll do much worse than just seeing that you lose your license.”

He holds both hands up and backs away, something on his face telling me he’s not intimidated by my threats. That better be because he’s fucking confident in what he’s fucking doing.

I storm from the room, intending to go take a shower. Instead, I just stomp to my office in the other wing of the house so I can watch the video feed of Anna’s room. I’ve got the whole house wired for security purposes and thank fuck I do. She does nothing but stare at the wall for hours, barely swallowing when Professor Roberts feeds her dinner.

I hurry over to her room, sure she’ll eat from my hand if I try to feed her, but she stops eating all together when I enter. I finally shower and sleep, but only in fits and starts.

The first thing I do the next morning is gosee Anna.

Professor Roberts stops me in the hallway outside her room. “I was just coming to get you. She’s having a good morning. She’s lucid.”

My chest leaps with hope and I push past her. Before I open the door, I hear her sweet voice, responding to something Dr. Ezra asked.

“—and then it was like?—”

Oh thank god! I push the door open, and she cuts off, looking my way with wide eyes, like a deer stunned in the headlights.

“It’s so fucking good to see you, love!” I say, rushing into the room.

But though I’d swear her eyes were just locked with mine for a millisecond right as I burst into the room, it’s like they slide right off me to the left, all animation leaving her face by the time I’m at her side.

“Anna!” I say, the excitement from hearing her voice sinking at the blank expression suddenly on her face.

“What happened?” I turn to look at Dr. Ezra where he sits in a chair across from Anna. “She was just here.”

I turn back to Anna, dropping down beside her and taking her hand. “Anna, it’s me.” I try to keep my voice light as I massage her palm with my thumb. “Love, I’m here. I’m right here.”

“I think you may have startled her,” Dr. Ezra says, his tone calm and without accusation.

“Me?” My head snaps towards him. “But I’m—” I cutoff before I can really start railing at the bastard. I gaze at Anna, rubbing her hand more urgently before I remember I’m supposed to stay calm.

Fuck. She was here. Present. And then I came banging in like a goddamned ape and scared her away again.

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