Page 53 of When We Dare

I snorted. “Are you a mind reader?”

“Definitely not, but you’ve tied that napkin into about ten different knots,” he pointed out.

I let my breath out in a gust. “Missing somebody. You know how that goes.”

Leo nodded slowly. “I suppose. Are we talking about Stella?”

Reflexively, I looked toward Parker, relieved to see he was deep in conversation with Griffin.

I tried to slow the rampaging beat of my heart. Every time I thought about Stella, my heart felt like a broken drum. “She broke up with me, and I’m pretty sure it’s my fault. Please donotfucking mention this to Parker.”

“Mention what to Parker?” Graham said. He was sitting on the other side of Leo at an angle across from me from where the table curved around.

I gritted my teeth. “Nothing,” I ground out.

“I know Stella dumped you, but what did you do?” Graham pressed.

“I told her I wasn’t sure I could be in love,” I admitted.

“With her?” Leo’s brows furrowed as he winced a little.

“With anyone.”

Graham’s breath hissed through his teeth. “That’ll do it.”

“Do what?” I returned.

“Get someone to dump you, even though you’re obviously in love with her,” Graham said, speaking slowly, as if I had a hearing problem.

Running a hand through my hair as I leaned back in my chair, I looked between them. “I should’ve thought that through.”

“You did her a favor, or you’re an idiot,” Leo said.

“A favor?”

“If you don’t ever want to be serious, you did her a favor. If she wants more, no sense in wasting time on someone like you,” Leo explained.

My heart gave an achy thump. “I’m not a waste of time,” I said defensively.

Graham shrugged, his head tipping to the side as he studied me. “If she wants more and that’s not a possibility with you, then you would be a waste of time. Or, if itisa possibility with you, then you’re an idiot.”

My stomach started to churn uncomfortably. “Neither one of us wanted anything like that. I thought—” I cut my words off abruptly.

“Things change all the time. Maybe she meant it at the beginning, but if her feelings changed, then she did the right thing breaking it off,” Leo pointed out.

I glanced between them and sighed. “I think I’m an idiot.”

Chapter Forty

HUDSON

I slept restlessly that night. Every time I woke, my mind kicked around thoughts of Stella. I was a coward, at least when it came to facing my feelings for her.

I was impatient to get home, back to Willow Brook.Back to Stella. I needed to explain. I needed to fix things with her. As terrified as I was of how much she meant to me and what it might mean if I screwed it all up—minus the fact that I had potentially screwed it up permanently – it was more terrifying to contemplate a life where I didn’t take this chance with her.

The next few days were crazy busy. It was nice to be in this tiny town on the far-flung coast of Alaska doing something a little different. Hotshot firefighter crews were designed to be on the move, to be flexible to fight fires in the deep wilderness, in the dry desert, and to protect property and towns. The small villages in Alaska had firefighters, but they didn’t have the equipment and the flexibility hotshot crews did. We helped ensure the smoldering ruins were contained and had enough time to help with some repair work. We even assisted with a rescue when a polar bear cornered two kids atop an abandoned vehicle on the outskirts of town. The town organized a giantpotluck hosted at the school’s auditorium on the last night we were there.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say I was avoiding Parker. That was pretty impossible, but I went out of my way to make sure we weren’t seated together in the evenings. I didn’t want him to ask me about Stella.

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