Page 48 of When We Dare

We fell into silence for the drive with me offering guidance on the few turns to get to my place. Leo glanced over once he stopped in front of the house. “You good?” he asked as I began to climb out of the truck, stumbling slightly when my boot caught on a piece of gravel.

Clearing my throat, I straightened, steadying my balance. “I’m good. Appreciate the ride home.”

He nodded. “Anytime. You have a ride to get to your truck in the morning?”

“I’ll work it out. Thanks again.”

With a wave, I closed the door and waited as he backed up and drove away. His headlights arced across the front of the house when I began walking up the steps. I wondered if Stella was awake and kind of hoped she wasn’t. At the same time, Ihoped maybe she was. You see, she soothed my heart, and that fucking terrified me.

A moment later, I was standing in the kitchen. Stella finished putting a plate in the dish rack and turned to face me. She tipped her head to the side. “Are you okay?”

I stuffed my hands in my pockets. “I can’t be in love,” I announced.

She blinked before pain flashed in her gaze. “Okay,” was all she said.

I stood there, all the while my heart felt like a jackhammer against my ribs, threatening to crack them into pieces. Maybe they would shatter just like I had shattered myself.

“That’s it?” I prompted.

“Hudson, what do you expect me to say? That’s not rhetorical. I told you I thought I loved you. Tonight, you show up and announce that you can’t be in love. It’s fine.” She shook her head with a sigh. “When this all started, we were on the same page. I guess we still are. I didn’t mean to catch feelings, but I think it’s best that we reset.”

“Reset?” A sense of panic started to churn in my chest as my heart continued battering my ribs.

“It was a mistake to let this even start. It was a mistake for us to sleep together and I’m not talking about the sex part. I’m going to wish you agood night. The cats are asleep upstairs on my bed. Should I bring Butter down to you?”

“What? No!” I shook my head wildly.

“You don’t want me to bring Butter to you?” she pressed. Her expression was flat and hard to read. I wanted to pound my fist against the wall she was building between us. It was invisible, but it felt impenetrable.

“No, I don’t want you to go sleep by yourself.”

Stella was quiet for several long beats while the panic continued to pound its unruly fist inside of me. “You can’t bein love, and I think I am. We’re going to rewind. I’m an expert at boundaries when I need them. I’m going to close the door to my stairs and go to bed. You’re going to sleep downstairs. If you want Butter with you, tell me now.”

I couldn’t separate Butter and Biscuit. They were in love. I couldn’t even handle pondering what that meant in relation to me and Stella.

My entire chest hurt and I felt a little sick. “Uh, no.”

She nodded, just once, and walked past me. I had to curl my hands into fists to keep from reaching for her.

Chapter Thirty-Six

STELLA

I would never, absolutelynever, admit to Hudson that I cried myself to sleep that night. Butter and Biscuit curled up together and mashed themselves in a single ball against my hip. The sound of their collective purring was comforting. I was relieved that I wasn’t sleeping alone.

Childishly, I felt a petty joy that they picked me. It was like when you had a breakup. When you were trying to be mature and understand that shared friends wanted to maintain their connections with both of you, yet most of your friends ended up closer to you. The petty joy didn’t last. I woke up alone the next day. Hudson had already left and I told myself that was for the best.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

HUDSON

A week later

Parker studied me, his gaze too perceptive for my comfort. I shifted my shoulders and drained the small bottle of water in my hand.

“What’s up?” I finally asked when I tossed the empty bottle into the recycle bin a few feet away. We were in the kitchen at the fire station.

“You dumped her, didn’t you?”

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