I didn’t know how to read Hudson’s gaze. He was quiet long enough after I spoke that I got nervous. My nerves led to more babbling. “I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m really sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. Please, could you just forget all of this? You stay downstairs, I’ll stay upstairs, and the kitchen will be like Switzerland. It’ll be totally neutral and we’ll treat each other like friendly strangers.” I twisted my hands together.
“Friendly strangers?”
I felt my curls bounce as I nodded way too enthusiastically. “Yeah, friendly strangers.” I thrust my hand out as if to shake his. As ifthatmade any sense.
His eyes dropped to my hand. In slow motion, he reached out, his palm engulfing mine. His touch was warm and dry. Instead of shaking my hand, he held it for several rushing beats of my heart. His thumb began to move in slow strokes along the oversensitive skin on the inside of my wrist. I felt as if I were falling, my belly swooped, and my breath became short.
Hudson took a step closer, his eyes darkening, and never once breaking away from mine. “I don’t want to forget any of it, Stella. I don’t want to be friendly strangers. I know what it feels like to kiss you. I know what it feels like when you come all over my fingers.”
I swallowed, barely able to breathe as heat pooled like molten lava in my belly. I couldn’t even speak.
“We’ve established that neither one of us wants anything serious. You said you want to deal with your…” He paused, looking uncertain.
“Virginity,” I offered helpfully.
What the hell are you doing?!My mind screeched.
“This doesn’t have to be complicated. I think you already know it’ll be good with us. I know I do. We can establish some ground rules.”
I felt my head bobbing up and down.Everythingwith Hudson felt good. Even just standing here with his thumb brushing in idle strokes on my wrist. That little strip of skin was on fire with flames radiating outward.
“What do you mean by ground rules?” I managed.
“Well, we already both don’t want things to get complicated. You can change your mind at any point and shut it down completely. And maybe, we can’t forget what happened, but I can respect any boundary you set. We can just be friends. Even though neither one of us wants to get serious, we should decide if we’re exclusive for the purposes of this.”
“What’s this?” I rasped over the pounding beat of my heart.
“Kisses, making you come all over my fingers and maybe more, but not with anyone else. Do you want that?”
My lungs were pretty useless, but I sucked in enough air to speak. “Okay.”
“Okay, what?”
“Let’s do that.”
“How about you think about it for a few days?”
Chapter Fifteen
STELLA
Hudson’s question boomeranged around my thoughts over the following days. I wasn’t sure if he was going out of his way to avoid encountering me in the kitchen at the house, but our paths didn’t cross. As the minutes and hours ticked by, my nerves felt stretched to their breaking point. I felt restless and impulsive. My hormones had already made their vote perfectly clear. They didn’t understand why I was waiting.
He said to give it a few days. I found myself wondering what his definition ofa fewwas. I considered three to be a few, but I knew that wasn’t iron-clad.
Blessedly, I was very busy with work and studying. I had finished all of my coursework for law school and had thrown myself into studying for the bar exam. I knew I could pass it, but this was the most important exam I would ever take. Meanwhile, things at the office were asbusy as ever, offering an escape from obsessing over Hudson.
Late one evening, I was doing a last check of my email to make sure I had taken care of everything for the day when my cell phone pinged with a text.
Tish:We’re meeting for dinner at Wildlands. Meet us there!
Before I could text to reply, another text came zooming in.
Tish:It’s me, Phoebe, Maisie, Jasmine, and Tiffany so far.
Me:I’ll be there!
A mere ten minutes later, I parked behind Wildlands Lodge & Restaurant, facing the lake behind the place. The early sunsets of winter in Alaska were stunners and tonight was no exception. The sky was deep violet with a pink glow shimmering on the snow-capped mountains in the distance. I’d spent all of my life in Alaska between several towns in the Southeastern part of the state, near Fairbanks, and even a short stay up in Barrow near the Arctic Circle. They were all beautiful areas, but Willow Brook just might’ve been my favorite.