Page 75 of Brazen King

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to do anymore. Because I’m not sure I’m capable—physically or emotionally—of murdering Killian. I don’t know that Iwantto kill him.” I look down at my hands as I say that last part, my shame overwhelming me. “I have feelings for him, Ti,” I breathe, unable to look her in the eye anymore. “I’m falling for him,” I confess more plainly.

And a painfully long pause stretches between us.

Finally, I can’t take it any longer.

I look up.

And Tatiana’s gaze fills my stomach with lead. “We should go to Father about it,” she says, deep concern written across her face. “He needs to know.”

“Please, Ti, hecan’tknow. He would never forgive me.”

“Of course he would,” she scolds.

But I really don’t see Papa being okay with the fact that I slept with our enemy—multiple times—and now I can’t kill him because the sex is just that good. Well, it’s more than just the sexthat draws me to Killian, but I doubt that makes the situation better in any regard.

“Please, Tatiana, don’t say anything to him. I’ll figure something out. Just…”

I just really wish my sister had a better solution. But it seems like she’s as fresh out of ideas as I am.

After a moment’s hesitation, Tatiana nods. “I won’t say anything. But it has to stop, Natasha. If you can’t kill him, then the best solution is for you to stay away from Killian. Because you’re risking our family’s well-being every time you sleep with him. And catching feelings for a King? Nothing good can come of that.”

My sister’s words cut deep. But she’s not wrong. I’ve put our family in jeopardy while I’ve been carrying on with Killian. And if no alliance, or agreement, can come from the arrangement, then it will only hurt my family to keep seeing him.

If I can’t help them end the conflict with the Kings, then the best thing I can do is stay away.

“You’re right,” I say softly, though it feels as though my heart is being ripped from my chest to agree. “I’ll stay away from Killian from now on.”

33

NATASHA

“You look stunning,” Tatiana observes as she leans against my door jamb and crosses her arms over her chest. It makes her cleavage jaw-dropping, and though I’m sure she doesn’t mean to do it, she makes my attempt at dressing up look like child’s play.

Wearing a floral-embroidered, dusty-blue silk dress with a high collar and a plunging keyhole neckline, she’s showing off all her assets and, at the same time, calling attention to the intense blue of her eyes. Her hair is piled on top of her head, with several silky curls hanging loose to frame her face.

Meanwhile, I’m wearing a strappy metallic-gold bodycon dress with a ruched waistline and a high slit up the side of one thigh. And though I would never admit it, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think of Killian when I picked it out. Wondering if it might catch his eye and hoping it won’t at the same time.

It’s been over a week since I last saw him—after the night I fell asleep in his bed and woke up the next morning wrapped in his strong arms.

And since then, he hasn’t strayed far from my mind.

Despite my best efforts.

But no matter what I try, he continues to come to mind at the most inconvenient moments. When I’m halfway into a dream state late at night. While I’m handling business for my father—and my newest victim is still gasping his last breaths. As I finally reach the point of desperation and need to relieve the tension from my suddenly uncomfortable abstinence, he’s there…

Killian’s laughing green eyes and wolfish grin appear in my mind’s eye at the worst times, making it impossible to forget about him. Which is why I have nervous butterflies fluttering in my stomach in anticipation of tonight.

There’s a good chance he’ll be at the charity event Mother’s putting on to support bringing clean water to Africa. Most high-society New Yorkers are expected to attend, and while Killian might seem a little rowdy and rough around the edges, he’s still considered high society by most social standards.

Which means I’ll likely bump into him at some point this evening. And while I know I need to keep my distance, I can’t help wishing—if just for a moment—that I might catch his eye.

I’m dreading the possibility that he might have another woman on his arm. After all, a week is practically an eternity for an eligible bachelor with a sexual appetite like Killian’s. When I stopped coming around, he easily could have decided to move on, to find a new woman to meet his needs.

It’s for the best if he has.

At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

And still, it sends a stabbing sense of loss into my chest every time the thought passes through my mind.

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