Page 30 of Praying Mantis

“Too personal? Louisa, we don’t do personal things. Please don’t tell me you fell in love with someone. What have I told you about love and men?” I roll my eyes. I should’ve expected this from her.

“You told me men are only after one thing and it isn’t your heart.” I begin to give her the speech she always gives me.

“Exactly. Men are only good for one thing and that’s for getting you off twice. They only care about wetting their dicks.”

“Mom, I need you to cancel the hit or find out how to do it. This man can’t die. I love him.” I’m crying now.

“Love is for suckers. I will not contact the sender. You do this hit then go on vacation to mourn the loss of this man. You are not quitter unless you want to be like your father.” I grip the phone wishing it was actually my mom’s neck, strangling her under my French manicured nails. I hang up on her and walk into my kitchen to grab a bottle of Jameson whiskey forgoing the glass. As I enter my living room, I drink from the bottle trying to figure out how to get this hit done without actually killing the love of my life.

Sean

After Louisa shuts my bedroom door behind her, I take my arms and sweep it over my dresser with all of my picture frames and trophies from my childhood. When Louisa walked out of my room, I felt my world completely detonate before my eyes. My chest feels like someone is putting their hand through it and squeezing the life out of my heart. Within a matter of seconds, my mom is yelling my name from the other side of the door as she pounds on it. I’m not quick enough to say anything and she’s now standing next to me.

“Sean, what’s going on? Louisa took off like her life was in danger.” My mom touches my cheek and I look down at her. She’s blurry as my eyes fill with tears.

“Ó mo bhuachaill milis.” My mom’s soft tones of calling me her sweet boy. “What happened?” I shake my head because I don’t know how I can explain this to her.

“Máthair, I’m so conflicted. My heart says one thing while my FBI brain tells me another thing.” My mom looks up at me.

“The heart never lies and would never steer you in the wrong direction.”

“What if the heart is telling me to abandon everything I fought Athair for?” I swipe both hands over my face. “What if the information I have is morally conflicting?”

“Do you think I’m stupid and don’t know what your father was up to? Do you not think I don’t know about the missing men or the unsolved murders that resemble mob hits? Everyone thinks the king is the powerful one but it’s the queen who protects her kingdom. I know what your father was, and I loved him anyway.”

“But—” I begin and she quickly cuts me off.

“The heart never lies. The only question you need to ask yourself, is your life worth living without Louisa? If the answer is yes then put your FBI brain on and follow this lead of yours. If the answer is no, then forget whatever the fuck she said to you and go bring her back here to us, we are her family.” She walks out of the room standing taller and with a smile on her face. I sit down on my bed and run my hands through my hair.

“What the fuck do I do?” I ask out loud to no one in particular. I flop back on the bed like a teenager being grounded. I’m staring at the ceiling, willing it for the answers, is that what Louisa was doing wishing to have all of the answers come to her. Can I live without her? Can I forgive her? I sit up fast making the world spin, “Did she say there’s a hit out on me?” I glance around the nightstand for my cell phone. I notice my pants are folded on the chair and take it out of the pocket to call Louisa. “Bad Boys Theme Song” by Inner Circle starts to ring on the nightstand from Louisa’s side of the bed. I get up and see a picture of the two of us from our third date when we went indoor skydiving. Seeing it, I know what I need to do but I go in search of my mom for her advice on things. As I get to the bottom of the steps I sigh thinking where would she be? I walk toward the dining room thinking she might be there for breakfast but hear some noise coming from my dad’s office. I head in that direction and peek in the open door.

“Took you long enough to get your head out of your ass.” My mother’s eyes twinkle as her tone is playful. She’s sitting down behind my dad’s desk like the queen she is. I take a seat in the dark brown wooden chair across from her. “Did you make a decision?”

“I need to talk to you and want your help figuring things out. I don’t want to lose Louisa. She’s the love of my life and my future. When I close my eyes, I picture her belly swollen with my child, standing beside me through everything I decide to do.”

“What happened this morning?” she asks me.

“Máthair, have you been following the news?” She nods and folds her hands on the desk leaning forward. “My case which I’m working on is the Praying Mantis. Louisa had information about who the serial killer was, and I didn’t take it very well.” I sigh, hanging my head. I’m ashamed of how I reacted. My mom motions for me to continue. “Louisa is the Praying Mantis.” My mom gasps as she covers her mouth.

“No!” My mom’s shocked expression surprises me. “And you kicked her out?” I nod. “I can’t believe you.” My mother’s voice raises as she stands up. “I’m ashamed to be your mother right now. I raised you better than that.”

“There’s more to it,” I whisper.

“What else could be worse?” My mother comes to sit next to me. “You let the most perfect woman walk out the door.”

“I think the only reason she told me is because there’s a hit out on me and she’s the one coming for me.”

“What!” My mom’s voice squeaks.

“Those are the final words she said to me before she shut the door on me after I told her to get the fuck out.” I stare at her. “Who do you think put a hit out on me?” She grabs my hands. “How do I fix it?”

“Go get your girl. You know I support your FBI career and always defended it and will continue to do it. I love you more than my own life.” She sighs. “Louisa loves you as well and you love her too. Isn’t that enough for you? Do you need to turn her in to the FBI?”

“This is where I’m conflicted. I don’t want to turn her in because I want to hide her away forever.”

“There’s your answer. Protect her at all costs.” Mom sighs. “I bet that bastard Colin put the hit out on you. Did you tell him you were taking your dad’s position?” I shake my head and whisper, not yet. She smiles at me, squeezing my hands. “Go to her. Talk it over and figure it out. Fight for her.”

Louisa

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