Page 19 of Praying Mantis

“What brings you to Texas?” she asks, not making eye contact with me. She’s looking at Tony and the three agents now standing near us.

“A case. I don’t want to bore you with it. What time does your flight leave?”

“In an hour,” Matthew answers me. I nod. Tipping my head to the right, I stare at Louisa, trying to figure her out.

“Can we talk privately for a few minutes?” She swallows hard before nodding. “Tony, grab the rental for us.” He walks to the counter. I hold Louisa’s hand as we walk over to some chairs away from prying ears but not eyes. Matthew watches us the whole time. “Baby, are you okay? Did you not know I was a law enforcement officer?”

“Why would I?” She sounds defensive and I’m not sure why. I explain the gym being so close to my office and how a lot of us work out there. “Oh. I never knew it. It’s one of the few gyms in a friendly area that’s open twenty-four hours, so I use it. I feel safe there even if I’m by myself.”

“Do you have a thing against my profession?”Please say no,I think to myself.

“I don’t know to be honest. I’ve always avoided anyone who works in the field of law. Terrible experience with them in my past, and no I’m not talking about it, ever.” Her tone is a matter of fact.

“I’ll respect your wishes as long as you tell me what they are. I’m serious about seeing you when we are back in Boston. Obviously, I won’t be there for at least a week or a few days. I don’t know if this is the case I’m in charge of or not. Please tell me I didn’t lose you before I truly had you?” My heart is beating fast. I don’t date because my career always takes me away at a moment’s notice, but something about Louisa makes me want to throw caution to the wind. She sighs and plays with her fingers. “How about this, before you answer think about it? Since I won’t be in Boston, we won’t run into each other. I just ask that we keep texting or calling each other to get to know one another.”

“What happens if I fall for you and I can’t get over the fact you’re a cop? It’s not fair to either of us.” I sigh. I drop my head and stand. I hold my hand out to her to help her up.“I don’t want you to miss your flight. I guess you better go.” I try not to look at her. I can tell by her body posture, shoulders hunched, arms wrapped around her stomach, and eyes looking at me without seeing me she’s checked out on me and this relationship. I lost her before I could have her in my arms all night.

“Goodbye, Sean,” she whispers before grabbing her two suitcases and walking away.

“I’ll talk to her. You make her smile, and I haven’t seen her so happy when you text her. Cops freak her out and crooked judges should be wiped off the face of this planet if you ask me.” He shrugs. “It was nice to meet you. Good luck with your case. I hope you get answers to whatever it is.” Matthew hurries after Louisa and I don’t even hold out hope he can fix this. I tell Tony and the agents we better head out. I need to focus on this case right now.

Louisa

We’ve been back in Boston for two weeks and the last message I got from him was the night I landed back in Boston.

SEAN: I hope that kiss wasn’t our last. I loved holding you in my arms. You fit so perfectly. I’ll give you space, but I don’t know if I can wait long before I hound you to talk to me. I’m going to miss you so fucking much. Our nightly calls were the best thing to happen in my day with everything I see in this job. You’re the rainbow in the storm. Xoxoxo

I haven’t heard from Sean since that text message. I should be thankful, but I’m not. I’m miserable, but he’s an FBI agent and not just any FBI agent, but one of two agents in charge of the Praying Mantis case. He’s the one hunting me for my crimes. I go to work, order my food, and pace my floor. It’s been my routine for two weeks. It’s driving Matthew crazy. He spent the entire flight arguing with me about giving Sean a chance. I almost gave in and called him when I got back to my apartment until I did some digging. I can’t be with the man who is trying to put me in jail for life. I sigh as I eat my Chinese food from a bowl. My phone rings and I see it’s Matthew. I should ignore him, but then he’ll end up here banging on my door, annoying me and my neighbors.

“What?” I answered the phone.

“Good evening to you, Miss Cranky Pants. Are you going to call him?” he asks. He asks me at least three times a day now. It’s always the same question. Never bothers asking me anything else it seems.

“No. If that is why you’re calling, then you can stop asking me the same damn question. The answer will not change.”

“I don’t know why you’re being so fucking stubborn. I’m actually calling to see if you wanted to go to the farmer’s market with me tomorrow. It’s the first of the month and they have some new booths.” The farmer’s market reminds me of seeing Sean for the second time. Listening to him speak Gaelic with his mom makes my heart ache.

“I guess, but Matthew, don’t you dare talk to me about Sean. You mention him and I’m gone. It’s been two weeks and my answer hasn’t changed. Leave it be, please.”

“Fine. I’ll pick you up at eight a.m.” He hangs up the phone. I stare at the phone and I read back through text messages. My heart hurts but I can’t get involved with the man who is hunting me.

Another night of tossing and turning and barely sleeping so I’m on my second cup of coffee when Matthew shows up.

“Morning, doll face. Are you ready to go?” Matthew smiles at me. I nod. “I know we are in a tiff right now, but I love you.”

“I love you too, but I wish you would understand my position and be on my side.” I huff. “I never had a first date with him. Why are you acting like we’ve been together for years?”

“You were happy, even if it was for a short time. You would smile every time your phone rang. It has to count for something.” He’s right, and I know it, but I can’t give in to my desires. We walk to the farmer’s market talking about the weather, books, and wanting to do more book signings. We stick to light topics.

Matthew and I make it to the market and are looking at the new booths there. There are women selling these beautiful blankets that they crochet by hand. Of course, the blanket hoarder I am, I bought four of them. Matthew nudges my arm, taking my attention away from a fifth blanket I was thinking about buying. My eyes move from the blanket booth to where Matthew is standing. I smile at him because this man knows me.

“Look, Louisa, they have loose tea and if I’m reading it correctly your lavender tea is there.” I am a tea addict especially with a hot bath, yes, please! We make our way over when I hear a very familiar Irish accent.

“I’m worried about you, son.” I duck between a couple of booths to avoid being seen.

“What in all that is holy are you doing?” Matthew looks down at me. I’m panicking at this point. My heart is racing, and I feel like my lungs can’t fill up with enough air to keep me alive.

“Physically? Mentally? Spiritually? Financially? Socioeconomically? I am not sure what you mean.”

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