Page 48 of Save Room for Us

“I mean, yeah, but you could’ve just reprimanded him with words.”

“With all due respect, baby, the way I did it is exactly how you have to. Let one muthafucka get off with mild repercussions, and they all gon’ think shit is a game. I run shit with an iron fist. I ain’t the big homie ’round this bitch. I’m the boss. I’m a cool ass nigga so long as you do what the fuck you ’posed to and don’t cross me, but I ain’t for the disrespect.

“This a fucking job, and on top of that, you not here for their amusement or to feed their sexual appetite.”

Looking down a bit, she said, “I guess I’m just not used to this environment, but I’m sure your expertise supersedes mine.” When she looked up at me, a smile tugged at her full lips, and like always, it was contagious, making me do the same.

I took her hands in mine, and she let me this time. They were so fucking soft, and she smelled so good. I wanted to keep it real with Anastazia and tell her that while all I said was true, a part of me didn’t like the shit that just happened because she was for me. I didn’t want other niggas taking her for a joke, and I especially didn’t want other niggas trying their hand with her. If Anastazia was gon’ be single, cool, but if she wasn’t, she needed to be with me.

Same time, I knew she’d just got off the possessive nigga express and most likely wasn’t looking to be possessed by someone else. So, me telling her I went all out, not only because I demanded her respect from these niggas, but because in my head, she was mine, might not sit well with her. I had to ease my way in, making sure she understood I wasn’t that coward ass nigga she was used to and that our ideas of possession meant two different things.

I wanted her to be safe. I wanted all her fucking time she didn’t spend working or with her family and friends to be mine. I wanted to wake up to her, go to sleep next to her. Listen to her tell me about all the weird types of treatments and cures she found from the seventeenth century. I wasn’t interested in keeping her locked up, depressed, and scared like that mark ass nigga.

Rubbing circles on the backs of her hands with my thumb, I said, “I missed you at the grand opening.”

“I wanted to come, but with working, being a mother, and everything else, I couldn’t muster up the energy. And I didn’t wanna be a wet blanket at her event.” She tried to smile. “I have never had to drink two coffees a day in my life, and that says a lot coming from a nurse.”

Chuckling and interlocking our fingers, I said, “You too good at what you do. Sophie is lucky, for real. Anybody around you is lucky.” I kissed her nose, and she smiled.

“You know your mother?” She closed her eyes immediately after asking. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that. I was just curious because you never mention her, and Analicia didn’t know. No one ever mentions her.”

“You good. So you been asking your sister about a nigga?”

“Like once.” She rolled her eyes with a smile, lying.

“I don’t mind.” I let her go, shut the door, then sat down. “Come here.”

She hesitated but switched over, allowing me to set her on one of my legs. It was intimate but didn’t feel like too much.

“Am I heavy?”

“Little bit.” I winced, and her jaw dropped. “You not, baby. I’m fucking with you.” I kissed her neck, lingering a second so I could take in her sweet smell. “I do know my mother though. We weren’t close, ever, from what I remember, and then when I was like nine, she got committed after telling her friend or somebody that she wanted to drive me to the lake.”

Telling her my moms also tried to have Lisara murked was too much, so I kept that shit under wraps.

“Are you serious?” Her eyes bounced around my face as her arm rested along my shoulders. I felt her soft fingertips press into my shoulder.

“I am.” I tried to titter it off. “There were a few times I remember spending with her, and the shit was cool, but she was only doing it to make my father happy. They would argue and shit. He ain’t know, but I would hear him getting on her ass about not being maternal. Then like clockwork, she would come to me, wanting to do something, be nice, cook for me.” I chuckled, saying, “I always remembered her telling me to make sure I mentioned whatever she did to my pops.”

“I couldn’t imagine being that way to Sophie. I think I love her more than myself.”

“Because you’re a good mother, baby. I don’t think my moms ever wanted to be a mother. I think it happened, and she knew if she aborted it, my pops wouldn’t fuck with her. Or maybe she trapped the nigga. I don’t know, but I doubt she pictured a life with kids in the shit.”

“I’m happy you got Lisara though.”

“Me too. I got attached to her ass quickly as fuck too.” I smirked, making Anastazia do the same. “She was nice, beautiful as hell, and she could cook a mean ass cheeseburger.” We chuckled in unison. Letting mine dissipate, I continued. “She was comforting, gave great hugs and shit. Always smelled good. Anybody that say a boy don’t need his mother is a fucking lie, love. At that time, I would’ve traded my video games and anything else I treasured to keep Lisara’s ass around.”

“Sounds like if she and your father broke up, you would’ve went with her.” She simpered.

“Probably, shit.” I grinned as Anastazia giggled. “On some real shit, I probably would’ve asked if he could leave me with her. She was fine, too, so that helped.”

“Ew, Asif. That’s like your mom.”

“Yeah, that shit is disgusting to think about now, but back then, she wasn’t exactly my mama. She was a beautiful ass woman who could cook her ass off and was cool.”

“I can understand that.” She nodded, smirking some.

I tightened my arm around her waist as she stayed planted in my lap, while her hand gravitated toward my beard. Only a beat passed before we kissed.

---