Page 29 of Save Room for Us

Without another word, I gave that nigga my back, slid open the door, and stepped outside.

I stayed at the party for another hour, then decided to take my ass home. I wasn’t exactly having fun and only decided to show my face since the homie Bill was throwing it and niggas claimed I never liked to come out.

It wasn’t that I didn’t fuck with kicking back. I just knew how niggas moved and how envious muthafuckas could be when you were getting to the money. You wasn’t about to catch me slipping all because you walked into a random backyard party and saw me sitting there. Before I attended any fucking thing, I cased the place, checked my surroundings, and did my due diligence before stepping off in that bitch.

“That Stacy girl works for you or something?” Milan quizzed as I drove down the block. She knew her name, but I wasn’t gon’ press it.

“Nah.”

“Then why are you around her? Terra told me she saw y’all riding in a car together. It was a black Lexus.” She shook her head from what I could see out of my peripheral, but I kept my eyes on the road. “I didn’t believe it, but after hearing Free and Grady talk, I know it’s true.”

“I ain’t about to go back and forth with somebody I don’t belong to, Milan.” I kept it blunt. “You wanna argue for the night, I can drop you off to the next nigga. When you ready to kick it and leave that other shit at the door, we can possibly link up.”

“I don’t wanna argue. I was just asking, Asif.” She got quiet as I stopped at a red light. “What are we doing?”

“You can’t be acting how you act, Milan, then trying to police my moves, love.” I hit the gas.

“I told you I was sorry about the dance, baby! I was just having fun and… I don’t even care about that nigga! I don’t even know him like that!” she whined.

“I don’t give a fuck about the dance.” I glanced her way. “I only give a fuck about the fact that you can’t seem to understand that I don’t give a fuck.

“What I need you to comprehend though, baby, is you not ready for no real shit. Even if I wanted you to be mine, it ain’t in you. You like too much attention and accolades to fuck with a low-key nigga like me. Me admiring you wouldn’t be enough, because you want other niggas doing it too.”

It was one thing for a woman to be beautiful and for other muthafuckas to peep game and comment on it. It was another for her to seek out that attention and comments from other niggas. Anastazia was pretty as fuck, and every nigga in that warehouse had stated so or gave her a look to let her know non-verbally. She didn’t have to do shit or go out of her fucking way to garner compliments from them niggas like Milan did.

“No I don’t, Sif,” she whimpered. “I don’t care what they think, only you.” She started to cry.

“A nigga can’t trust you, Milan. Anything you feel like you can’t do in front of me, you shouldn’t be doing the shit at all. If you gotta stop some shit when I walk into the room, that means you on some flaw ass type of timing.”

“You’re right, baby, and I will do better.”

“I don’t need you to do better.” I shook my head, speeding down the freeway. “I need you to understand where I’m coming from when I say it won’t ever be you and me on some real shit. All I’m doing is giving you a few reasons why.”

“What if I change that?”

Stroking my beard, I said, “I wanna keep shit real with you.”

“Okay.” She sniffled.

“I want Anastazia.”

“What? Why?”

Shrugging one shoulder, I said, “I just do. I always have. She piqued my interest from the first time I met her. And now that she’s around me more, I know it’s gon’ go further. So I want you to know ahead of time so there won’t be any surprises and shit. Or in case my time ain’t as free, if I’m not working, I’m working on her.” I caught her gaze briefly, and her eyes were clouded with tears. “I ain’t trying to hurt you, love, but you been knew what the deal was. And you not stupid. You don’ caught me watching her on several occasions when we in the same room. I didn’t have the opportunity before, but now I do, and I’m gon’ take it.”

I finished speaking as I pulled up to her apartment building.

“Asif, I wanna go home with you.”

“Nah, go upstairs and get yaself together, Milan. Process this shit, make sure you understand this ain’t that, and then, shit, maybe I’ll fuck with you if I’m in the mood, but I can’t make no promises. It all depends on Anastazia.”

Milan scoffed and shook her head.

“So depending on if she fucks with you or not, then that’s how much you’ll fuck with me.”

“In a sense. If she not trying to go there with me just yet, we can continue the arrangement. If she ready, then I gotta cut you off.” When she nodded, I said, “I need to hear that you get what I just said verbally.”

“If she wants you, then you won’t mess with me anymore, but if she doesn’t, then you will,” she rephrased dryly.

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