Page 49 of Save Room for Us

“I like you, Anastazia,” I revealed, something she already fucking knew.

“I don’t get why,” she whispered back to me, lips still grazing mine as she dragged her nails through my beard. I liked that shit for some reason. “I don’t mean to be self-deprecating. I just truly don’t get the allure, Asif.”

“You beautiful, for starters.” I picked her hand up from my face and kissed the inside. “From the first day I saw you, fresh out the hospital and still a stunna, I knew then if you were that pretty after giving birth, I could only imagine you on the regular.

“I wanted you then, to at least exchange numbers, pick ya brain, but I ain’t press it because my brother told me you were married, and that shit coupled with the new baby, I wasn’t trying to infiltrate a happy home. As badly as I wanted you, I believe in karma and wasn’t trying to take the next nigga’s piece of peace simply because I was attracted to you. Not to mention, I was getting my feet wet in the game and needed to focus. A lot of muthafuckas think this shit was handed to me and I just took over, which in a sense, I did, but I cleaned house a lot. Formed my own shit, my own connections, changed a lot of shit around, and it wasn’t easy. I work different than my brother.

“Anyway, I left it alone, but now, you free game. Now, I know you was never at peace, and that nigga didn’t appreciate what he had. Had I known that shit back then, I wouldn’t have given a fuck about taking you from him. And though I find you beautiful, Anastazia, your mind, your intelligence, your strength is what attracts a nigga most. I fuck with the fact that you can take matters into ya own hands, stand on yo’ own, even though while you with me, you won’t need to.”

As much as niggas pretended, no real man, no alpha, wanted a weak bitch by his side. Weak women were good for fucking, bending to your rules, and anything else that wouldn’t cause an inconvenience for a nigga who didn’t have long term intentions. Weak females weren’t there to be yo’ fucking partner, build with you, raise yo’ fucking kids.

Niggas who did fuck with weak bitches for the long run were the same niggas who didn’t understand a strong woman could also be submissive. They were the same niggas wondering whytheir easy-going, weak-willed girlfriend was bouncing on their right-hand’s dick while they sat behind bars.

“That means a lot to me.” She nodded.

“I’m glad, but I’m just speaking facts. A lot of women hear strong, especially black women, and think it means you can weather a storm a nigga is about to throw yo’ way, but I wanna clarify that ain’t what I’m on at all. When I say you strong, I mean you not gon’ let a nigga slip, especially not now. You gon’ keep a nigga in line, and though I got my shit together, my mentality together, even the best niggas gotta be kept on track here and there.”

“True.” She grinned. “My father was the best man ever, but my mama had to check him a few times for always being too generous. Any time family on his side needed something, he would give it. I always thought my mom was being too mean, but as I got older, I understood it. So I know what you mean.”

“How did he die?”

“Lung cancer. He had a bad cough for years, but by the time he agreed to see a doctor after years of my mom trying to make him, he was coughing up blood. I swear he went to the doctor and was seemingly dead weeks later, but it was more like some months.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.” She looked down. “I always miss him, but I especially did when I was living in hell with Cedric. I knew my daddy would’ve bust a cap in his ass.”

“Mr. Chase was doing it like that?” I lifted my brows, and she chortled.

“He was no gangster, but he carried, and he didn’t play about his daughters.”

“I like him.” I nodded. “I’m gon’ be the same way when or if I have a daughter. Tell Sophie buckle up.”

Anastazia’s eyes sparkled at my comment.

“I like you too, Asif. But I have to be honest. If you’re expecting us to have a whirlwind romance and be engaged by next week, I can’t promise that.”

“I told you I like yo’ pace. I’m on yo’ time, love. Still think we might be engaged by next week though.”

“Oh my gosh.” She cracked up, and there it was again, warmth all over the fucking room like the sun was in it whenever she smiled or laughed.

I truly didn’t fucking understand how a man could see that shit and not wanna make it happen all the fucking time.

“I love ya laugh, baby. And how ya eyes turn to slits when you do it.” I pecked her as she hugged my neck. “I know you got a lot on ya plate—me, too, though not as much—but just save a little room this. For us. I only wanna complement shit, not complicate it. Aight?”

“Alright.” She nodded.

ONE WEEK LATER…

Asif: What you doing?

I smiled down at my phone, reading his text just as my mother came to sit next to me.

“Who got you smiling like that?” My mama leaned over some to peek at my screen.

“Asif.” I locked it in a hurry so she couldn’t read. The last time we’d texted, it was about squirting, and yeah… didn’t want Mama seeing that. “I like him but?—”

“But what?” She frowned, eyebrow raised, so I knew she was about to disagree with whatever I said.

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