Page 34 of Save Room for Us

“You shot him six times, Miss Chase. Why so many?”

“To be sure he was incapacitated.”

“But six times? Seems excessive.” He glanced at the paper, then back to me. “Why does your family know nothing of you being abused? Why does Cedric’s current significant other and former coworker of yours claim that you’re lying?” When I didn’t say anything, feeling my eyes well up, Bashar said, “Let’s call it.”

“Is the prosecutor still that woman?” I quizzed.

“It is, but that goes out the fucking window, Stazi. They want you to be a woman that shot her boyfriend so she could either be with another man or cash in on a life insurance policy if he died.She doesn’t give a fuck what the true story is. She wants yo’ ass behind bars.”

“I see.” I drank some of the tea his assistant brought me.

“You gotta relax, though, and stay that fucking way. You can’t get flustered. You can’t act like you thinking on your answer too long because the jury is watching you. If you look like a liar, smell like one, and talk like one, they’ll see you as one.

“Be honest. You ain’t know how to shoot until recently, and you chose to learn because you feared for ya life. When they ask why you dropped Sophie off beforehand, explain that you knew Cedric would rage out if he caught you packing up, and you ain’t want her to witness that.”

“That’s a lie though.”

“It is, but you need to say it, or else you gon’ prove that you planned this shit. That you took Sophie to ya mama so she wouldn’t be there when you smoked that nigga. Premeditated attempted murder is much more jail time than what you on trial for, Stazi.”

“Why would I want to shoot Cedric just because? Like, these people cannot be that dumb.”

“Jacinta, ya coworker, is doing everything to go against you, claiming you mentioned some other nigga to her at work on several occasions.”

I opened my mouth to protest but remembered telling Jacinta how fine Asif was when I got back to work after maternity leave. Stupidly, I mentioned it again after seeing him at Brisa’s birthday party, joking that I should’ve gotten my lick back with him since I knew Cedric had most likely been unfaithful. All the small shit that I never even thought about for more than a second had started to come back and bite me in the ass. I hated Jacinta at this point.

“I will do better with how I react and answer. I promise.”

“You good. We got time. Don’t try to be so stoic to where you look unaffected by the shit he did. It’s okay to cry or tear up. Just don’t freeze and shit. Aight?”

“Okay.”

“How you doing on the cash flow?” He shuffled some papers.

“I’m fine. My savings was pretty nice, and now this new arrangement with Asif is padding it even more.”

“Good.” He smirked.

“What was that for?”

“Nigga don’ had a crush on you for a minute is all. I know he happy as shit to have you around all the fucking time.”

“He’s crushing on me because he doesn’t know me. If he did, he would run for the hills.” I chuckled, standing and grabbing my purse.

“I doubt it. Asif ain’t what you think. Nigga twenty-six in age but ‘bout forty in the head.”

We laughed in unison before I thanked him and left, Asif on my mind in a way that he shouldn’t be.

“What are you getting?” Analicia quizzed as we stared at the café shop menu.

I didn’t want to come out because my face was everywhere, and I was always being stared at, sometimes even approached by bold ass people with their opinions. But my sister begged me, saying she wanted to get out and try this new café. It was always hard to tell Analicia no when she begged. Plus, I knew her expensive ass husband was only helping me as much as he wasbecause he loved her, so going out with her was the least I could do.

On the upside, I occasionally ran into women who were abuse survivors and thanked me for being an example to other women and even to themselves. That part was nice, but it wasn’t as often as the ones who thought I was a cheating, money hungry bitch. I guess that was because my family and I were silent, while Cedric’s people plus Jacinta had been on every talk show, news outlet, and sit-down interview out there, telling their side. When you were quiet, you left room for people to create their own stories about you.

“Just an herbal tea and a sandwich.” I stepped up to the counter to order.

“Get me the same thing then.” Analicia pushed her double stroller, holding both Brisa and Benton who were knocked out.

Sophie, too, was asleep in her stroller that I held tightly in my hands as I waited for my receipt.

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