CHAP 25 MILLY
I didn’t need to see Dez today, or this afternoon. I could have called her to tell her I didn’t think I needed to keep coming to see her. That I was cured. That I found something that worked even better than therapy.
But it was an excuse to avoid Ty, especially after his wanting to talk about my former job. Everything was going so great, but I had to explain how I ended up frozen in that job, not willing to walk away, not willing to cut off the paychecks.
Not willing to be brave or do anything at all. I need to tell him. I probably need to talk to a lawyer and maybe even pay the money back.
Dez might be able to help me work that out. I should have just told Ty at the office. But selfishly, I worried he would reject me for it, and cast me aside. End our fun together. That was my biggest fear and I hoped it wouldn’t come true.
One thing at least is clear- there’s no future until he knows. Chips fall as they may.
I walked up to Dez’s office and pretended to read a magazine for five minutes until she brought me in. I walked around the couch- this wasn’t a proper session. I was firing her.
She sat in her chair, her pad in her lap and we stared at each other for nearly a minute. She stayed silent to make me babble, I knew that, but not commenting on my choice of chair, just acting casually as if nothing changed started to get under my skin.
“Dez- I mean Doctor. I wanted to thank you for all the time we spent, and update you that I won’t need you any longer.”
“No?”She’s staring at me. She knows something’s up.
“No, I took your advice. I did something brave.”
“Tell me.”
I was honest. I told her everything. Even those things I shouldn’t have.
“Then why come in person?”
“I haven’t told Ty about it.”
“Will you?”
“Yes. I don’t have a choice.”
“And you think he’ll reject you?”
I nodded. “I’m terrified he will.This is the best thing that’s happened to me my whole life. This is more brave than I’ve ever been.And I’m right. A week ago I could never fire you, never stand up to you. But this is right.This is new. This is brave.”
“Good luck Milly.”