Page 69 of Betrayed

She shook her head. “Just play it,” she urged, “so I can get out of here.”

A faint rumble, resembling a growl sounded by her ear. She ignored it, much like she planned to ignore him as soon as this ordeal was over.

“Please,” she insisted.

He didn’t say another word as he double clicked on the file. The image of her dead husband appeared full screen as the video began to play. The sense of dread that had been roiling slowly in her gut since the bank manager brought her the long, metal, fire proof box turned to cold, unremitting fear. Her first indicator that her husband was about to impart unprecedented bad news was his slow, sad, hesitant—she didn’t recall Derek ever being hesitant—smile.

“Hey, doll.” His familiar greeting and the low tone of his voice wrapped around her, as cozy as a favorite, old sweater. Her hands tightened painfully around each other as she braced for the worst. “As they say in the movies, if you’re watching me now, I’m not with you anymore and you’ve found the safe deposit box. That means, it’s time to come clean. I hope you’re sitting down for this.”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. That’s when she noticed there were dark circles under his eyes that she didn’t remember being there the last time she’d seen him alive, when she’d kissed him goodbye on that awful night three years ago. How had she missed him looking so tired? When he opened them again, he spoke directly into the camera.

“My Marilee, the best thing in my life, you and the kids. I didn’t deserve you, never did. I’m not a good man, never was. I love you and that’s probably one of the only honest things I’ve said to you in the past few years. I can also say that I fucked up, badly, but I never stopped loving you, or the kids. I got mixed up with some men who paid me very well to sell them some secrets about what I was working on at BSE. Suffice it to say, that once wasn’t enough with these men. But I found I was good at covering my tracks. What’s more, the more secrets I gave up, the easier it got, but I got cocky, brought in others to my little enterprise and it went bad. Now I’m in deep, honey, up to my eyeballs. And I don’t see a way out.”

He paused, his hands coming up to rub his red-streaked tired eyes.

“I’ve set things up so you’ll be okay, financially, and I’ve made it clear that you weren’t involved.”

“But why would anyone think I was?” she whispered.

As if from the grave, he answered, “I’m not proud of it, but I used the server from your shop to make the deals. The security systems at work were too good. Because of this, I’m afraid the feds might look at you as an accomplice. Show them the flash drive. It has my signed confession and all the information they need to bring down this ring.”

At last, he paused. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, baby. I know this hurts and it will for some time, but you can go on. Don’t grieve for me, Marilee, I don’t deserve it. This was my doing, my need to provide for and protect you and the kids, and my colossal ego told me I could get away with it and never have it blow back on you.”

He looked down, guilt radiating from every pore. When he faced the camera again, his eyes were wet.

“You’ll learn more, but I’m not man enough to tell you. Just know in my heart, that you were always first with me, my first love, my first submissive, and the only one I ever wanted to master. I’m heartsick and sorry, baby.”

Nothing more was said as with tears in his eyes, he reached toward the camera and the screen turned blue. Silence encompassed the room. Arturo stood close by, not stirring, not speaking. If he was breathing, she couldn’t tell, but she sensed his presence, his empathy, and support, even though she wanted none of it.

“He was having an affair with Adri, wasn’t he?” she asked in a flat, emotionless voice. “That’s what he meant by me being his first love. He didn’t say one and only, but first, meaning there was at least a second.”

“I’m sorry, Mari.”

She nodded, remaining stoic as her heart leapt into her throat, the dry, choking fullness seeming to cut off her air. At every turn, those she trusted had betrayed her. How she would ever be able to believe in anything, or anyone, ever again was beyond her. It would be utterly foolish.

And Arturo, despite his words of love, and his continued dismissal of her insistence that it was over between them, wasn’t any different, no matter his intentions to help and protect her. If she could bring herself to forgive, how could she ever forget she was first and foremost a mission. She’d never be able to trust him again or overcome the lingering doubts and be with him in any way close to what they had.

She was better off going back to her lonely existence than risking the pain of betrayal because she’d learned some hard lessons. There was only one person trustworthy in her small universe—herself.

“Are you still with me,minou?”

She turned to him unable to tell if the concern in his voice was genuine or a trained agent trying to manage his asset. He’d been so convincing from the start. When she looked at him, his image wavered from the tears flooding her eyes. It was just as well. It made it easier to do what she had to.

Through dry lips and a parched throat, she managed to croak out the one word that would end what they had, irrefutably.

“Red.”

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