Page 57 of Texting Dr. Stalker

“I’m saying I have plenty of cosmetics and stage-wear prosthetics. You’re forgetting that’s how I got into this field in the first place. Not only do I provide my patients with new mobility but also a new look if need be. Sometimes a new hair colour or eye colour is just the armour someone needs to wear while they adapt to their new normal. The different appearance tricks the brain into accepting the change far quicker than remembering who they used to be.”

Standing, he came over to me and perched on the desk. “The dye lasts a single wash—it’ll rinse out easily for your shifts at the hospital. I’m pretty sure I remember your eye prescription last time I broke your glasses by accident and you made me buy you a new pair, but if I got it wrong, help yourself. I have plenty more. I figure dark brown will hide your bright green. It would help if you see her with some stubble on your face and not clean-shaven, and you should probably walk differently. Wear clothes she’d never see you wear as Zander and—”

“Whoa, whoa, hold on.” Swooping to my feet, I glowered at the box of hair dye. “You can’t be serious? You’re saying I shouldn’t just keep messaging her but actually see her inperson? Have you lost your damn mind? She’ll see right through me!”

He smirked and crossed his arms. “Have you ever heard of the Clark Kent effect?”

I frowned. “What the hell is that?”

“The scientific description is: a disruption of facial recognition via the use of a disguise such as makeup, a beard, and/or glasses. Tweaking these markers is enough to hinder being recognised. It gives the person changing their appearance the ability to hide in plain sight.”

“I’m not goddamn Superman.”

“No, you’re not. That’s the point.” He chuckled, enjoying my demise far too much. “You’re about tobecomehim.” Waving a hand at me, he smirked. “Right now, you’re Clark Kent. Slightly nerdy, slightly bashful. You even have his glasses, and your twitch of always touching them or pulling them off to rub your eyes is the epitome of you as Zander North.”

“Did you just call me a nerd with a twitch?”

“It’s a proven fact that humans only see what they wanna see. Soldiers in combat sometimes wear full-face hoods with no eyes or facial features because there’s overwhelming evidence that shows people cannot spot fellow humans if they don’t have eyes or a mouth to lock onto.”

“I’m not going to war, Col. This is ridiculous.” Pushing back the chair, I shifted to leave. “I’m done.”

“You started this, man.” He threw a small box of brown contacts at me. “You can’t be done until she doesn’t need your help anymore.”

“I’m telling you, she’ll know it’s me the moment I’m stupid enough to go near her.”

“Did she recognise you last night?”

My back tensed. “Well, no, but only because I wore a mask and a hat.”

“Alright, keep wearing those but also rinse your hair and put the contacts in. I’m telling you, Zan, the one thing that comes to mind when I go to describe you to others is your stupidly green eyes and glasses. That and your carrot colouring.”

I groaned. “You did not just call me a carrot. What are we? Back in freaking kindergarten?”

Grabbing all the boxes, he shoved them into my arms. “Not my fault you decided to help the very woman you shouldn’t be around. You’re in this now. You wanted to help? So help. And when she’s smiling again, you can have X die a mysterious death and attempt to mend your relationship with her as Zander.”

“We don’thavea relationship.”

“But I happen to know you want one.”

I scoffed and strode toward the door. “You’re sounding like Melody. She drove me nuts thinking I’d marry her granddaughter. She even confessed she and Gran put aside money for our wedding!”

He burst out laughing. “God, this just gets more and more idiotic the more you talk. Now, shoo. I have a patient coming in.” He waved me out the door. “Remember, do the opposite of what you do as Zander. If you can do accents, it wouldn’t hurt to put one on. And if she looks like she’s starting to suspect, abort. It’s best she’s left wondering rather than finds evidence to prove that her lovesick neighbour has been pretending to be Superman.” He chuckled. “You should start calling her Lois Lane.”

I stumbled over the threshold.

Fuck, that was too close.

Lori and Lois?

Why did their damn names have to be so similar?

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

“Oh, you almost forgot your phone.” Colin chucked my cell at me. I caught it, juggling a few of the boxes. “Better text her back before she thinks you’re avoiding her. Who knows? Maybe she’ll want you to come over tonight.”

“I’m not going anywhere near her.”

“Lying to me or yourself?” Sitting back at his desk, he opened the file he’d been working on when I first arrived with my troubles. “I won’t say I told you so when you come to me and say you’ve met her face to face. It’s inevitable with her willing to trust you and you needing to protect her.” He caught my eyes, seriousness carving brackets around his mouth. “But mark my words, Zan, this will escalate before it gets better, so I hope you’re ready. Now go away. I look forward to your next episode of A Day in the Lives of Zander North and Sailor Rose.”

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