Page 199 of Texting Dr. Stalker

“And to think I almost had to hog-tie you last time just to give you a handjob.”

I choked on a laugh. “How did I not know you were such a temptress beneath all that primness?”

Kissing my chest, she whispered, “You haven’t been watching me for that long. It’s forgivable that you thought I was just some abuse survivor.”

My heart seized.

I’d almost forgotten.

Christ, I’d almost forgotten that I’d fucked her as X. That I was lying here, naked in her house, with black hair and brown eyes and a false identity.

Nausea gushed up my throat.

Protecting her as a masked stranger could be forgiven if my secret ever got out. But fucking her the way I did without telling her who I truly was?

Jesus Christ, she’ll hate me for eternity.

It wasn’t just the lies at this point. It was the betrayal of the incredible trust she’d given me. I’d felt her flinch a few times. Tasted the salt of her tears as I bulldozed my way through her trauma, but she’d trusted me not to hurt her and I’d trusted her to use the safe word if she wanted me to stop.

But she hadn’t said it.

She’d been brave and perfect and wonderful and…I’m fucked.

She used your last name as her safe word…

When she’d said it, I’d almost gone into cardiac arrest. Blistering hope bolted through me that perhaps she’d known it was me all along, and that was her way of confessing. That she knew and forgave me and wanted me anyway.

But that was just a dream.

And now I’d woken up and come face to face with the fact that it’d been a slip on her part. A Freudian slip revealing she might have feelings for me as Zander, but whatever crush she had would tear apart the moment she found out just how badly I’d betrayed her.

Fuck, what have I done?

My arm shook as I hugged her harder. Terror I’d never felt before bled through me. I’d lost her. I’d given in to my anger and taken her without telling her the truth, and now…now? Fuck, now I’d have to move far away just so I never had to see the disappointment and betrayal in her eyes.

Sailor pressed a kiss to my chest. “Your thoughts are loud again. Are you okay?”

I forced myself to stay calm when all I wanted to do was explode. “Sorry, I…” Truth coated my tongue, painting over my many lies. I might never be able to have her like this again, but while I had her, I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t deeply, madly,stupidlyin love with her. “I can’t stop thinking about you,” I whispered. “How good you felt. How that was the best sex of my life, and I want to do it all over again.”

She puffed up with pride. “You sure know how to squeeze my heart. Hearing you say that means the world to me.” She grinned. “And I feel the same way. I’ve never experienced what we just did.Ever.”

Goddamn tears pricked my eyes.

Despicable jealousy roared through me.

I was jealous of myself.

Cursing the two versions of me who got totally different sides of the same girl.

Why had I done this? Why had I come here? Why had I ever put on a mask and thought I could survive the fall-out?

Stiffening, I did my best to gather enough strength to stand. To say goodbye. To leave forever. But she clung to me like a baby sloth and buried her face in my neck. “You’re not leaving. No way.”

The butterfly blindfold hid her stunning blue eyes, keeping my secret. My mask lay in a discarded puddle beside us, mocking me with its skeletal grin.

You can’t let her find out.

If she ever learned who I truly was…going to jail would be paradise compared to the way she’d hate me.

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