Page 190 of Texting Dr. Stalker

Blinded by him, my other senses kicked in until I swore every part of him throbbed with guilt and regret and grief.

I hated it.

I hated that our passion switched to self-consciousness, ruining everything.

And in that moment, on the precipice of getting everything I wanted, I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to see his face or know his name or have reality ruin this.

I suffered my own guilt that I’d chosen to sleep with a stranger instead of dating my kind-hearted neighbour, but…I couldn’t deny that pieces of me had fallen for X.

I’d tripped the night he’d watched me cry in the garden, then wrapped me in a blanket to keep me warm. I’d fallen with every message and whisper, every touch and text.

I’d fallen for a stranger all while falling for my neighbour, and now my heart tore in two because I didn’t want to stop.

Anger returned, filling me with spark and fire. I dug my fingers over his thundering heart, fighting the urge to gouge my way through his chest to see if he felt as confused as me. “Actually, don’t answer that. I don’t—”

“I’ve watched you for a while,” he groaned as if the words were torn out of him. “I’ve heard your friend Lily call you by your full name. I…” He swallowed hard as if scrambling for half-truths. “I’ve seen your mail too.”

The darkness from his hand was absolute; I couldn’t see if he was lying.

His fingers threaded with mine against his chest. Without a word, he pressed my palm down until it felt as if I held his pounding heart. His body trembled with heat. The closeness of his lips made me tingle, all while my stomach flipped upside down as a bolt of lust arrowed like lightning.

Why did he feel so familiar?

Why was I so drawn to him?

It was too much. Too intense. Toopainful.

He shifted and pressed his lips to my ears, making me break out in goosebumps. “I’ve also watched your neighbour.”

I melted.

Iwanted.

“You have?”

The tip of his tongue traced the shell of my ear, making me shudder. “He’s an idiot. If he had any guts, he’d tell you that he loves you. He’d admit he’s wanted to touch you like this for years.”

“How could you possibly—”

“Know that he loves you?” A broken chuckle fell from him. “You just have to look at him to see it.”

My heart twisted in my chest. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you should order me to leave and be with him instead.”

I trembled at the thought of stumbling next door and kissing Zander this way.

I couldn’t picture it. Couldn’t see him ever being this rough with me, this hungry with me.

And that made me sad because Zander must never know about this.

Lily must never know.

X had promised to be my dirty secret, and he would stay that way.

“Stop talking about my neighbour.”

“You should give him a chance,” he murmured. “He would treat you far better than—”

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