Page 176 of Texting Dr. Stalker

Ugh, I’m not cut out for this.

Lily followed me through the house to the kitchen. “Earth to Sails.”

Pouring hot water over our teabags, I didn’t speak until I passed one mug to her and carried mine to the dining room table.

Sipping on warm comfort, I debated blurting out everything, but something stopped me.

I couldn’t understand my actions.

I no longer knew who I was or who I would become.

All I knew was…X was my dirty secret, Zander was my guilty pleasure, and right now, I needed to hide what I was going through so my best friend wouldn’t judge me.

Taking her hand, I squeezed her fingers. “I need you to trust me that I’m okay, and I’ll tell you everything, but not today. Today, I want you to tell me about the work mess last night. Did you get it sorted? How’s that builder you’re seeing? Aubrey, was it?”

She sighed heavily, her eyes sad. “I know what you’re doing, and I won’t let you do it for much longer.”

I gave her a crooked smile. “I know. Just…give me a few more days to get my head on straight. And then, I’ll tell you everything.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

* 42 *

Zander

Midnight Watching

ANOTHER WEEK FROM HELL ENSURED I HAD no time to sleep, let alone freak out over my lack of a love life or how many lies I’d told.

Between shifts, I spied on Sailor with my cameras and found comfort knowing she happily pottered around at home.

She hadn’t tried to message X again, and when I’d contacted her as Zander two days ago, her reply had been polite and reserved instead of open and honest, and I couldn’t do it.

I was too tired. Too drained.

I missed her.

I missed the way my heart would catch when a new text pinged. I missed her forwardness, pushing me to accept pieces of myself I would never ordinarily allow.

But no matter how close we’d gotten and how great the orgasms had been, it’d been based on lies. And I’d had no choice but to end it.

Hitching my satchel up my shoulder, I left the hospital and headed toward the staff car park. Honestly, I probably shouldn’t drive. I could barely see straight. I think the last time I slept was fifty-three hours ago and I literally couldn’t remember what my last meal was.

The thought of returning to an empty house, an empty fridge, and an empty bed almost made me turn around again to see if Colin was still in his office.

But I didn’t. Because if I didn’t crash soon, I’d crash not just my car but my health.

At least I have three days off.

I’d had two rostered off but added a vacation day purely because the thought of coming back here so soon almost made me want to quit. As much as I loved helping people and seeing sick people enter and healthy people leave, I was at the end of my rope.

Maybe I need a proper vacation?

Somewhere with sun and sand and two weeks of nothing but the tropics.

Unlocking my car, I slid in and rubbed my eyes beneath my glasses. A break sounded fucking awesome but the thought of being the single idiot on a deck chair with no one to share cocktails with sounded dreadfully unappealing.

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