Page 134 of Texting Dr. Stalker

He nodded slowly. “The one who’s the reason your jealous psychopathic ex hurt you?”

“It wasn’t his fault, but yes.”

“The geeky one with carrot hair and glasses?”

Indignation swelled in me. “Don’t call him a carrot, and he’s not a geek. The glasses suit him.”

His eyes crinkled again as if he was smiling. “Sorry, I didn’t realise you two were so close.”

Taking a step toward him, I searched his brown stare, wishing I could see his face. “You called Peng Penguin. I haven’t told you that was his original name.” I racked my memory, needing to go over our message thread. “At least, I don’t think I did.”

“You did.” He nodded. “Otherwise, how would I know?”

“My question exactly.”

He chuckled softly, sounding as if he didn’t mind being interrogated and had nothing to stress over. “Do you want me to go? Am I making you uncomfortable?”

I reared back. “Go? No…I—” I glanced at the cake and melting ice cream. I’d ruined a perfectly fine evening by trying to figure out his identity. I grasped at straws all because I’d had an incredible day with Zander, and guilt chewed me for liking a stranger in a mask as well as my kind-hearted neighbour.

Despite Milton claiming I was a slut, I wasn’t. I was wired to love and be committed to one person at a time. X had been there for me from the start, but so had Zander. He’d been there when I first woke up in the hospital. He’d given me a notepad to write with and told Lily to come get me.

Who did I owe the most loyalty to? The man who’d made me come alive again or the man who’d kept me alive in the first place?

“L-Let’s eat in the living room.”

“Sure.” Grabbing both bowls, X headed toward the lounge where I’d set up my tablet to watch something on Netflix. I’d even strung a few fairy lights on the hanging hexagon-shaped shelves that Pops had made Nana. The potted plants gathered dust above, watching our every move.

Peng bounced behind us, leaping onto the coffee table and trying to get into the bowls as X placed them down.

“Oh no, you don’t.” Scooping the wriggly kitten up, I plopped him beside me and tried to distract him with an ugly snake thing I’d sewn.

X sat slowly, keeping distance between us.

Memories of the last time we’d sat on this couch came thick and fast. He’d planted his hand over my mouth to stop me from screaming. He’d shown me he was trustworthy by letting me go, then hugging me when the memories became too much.

My tension bled out the longer I studied him. He did a good job of hiding his nerves but couldn’t quite delete them as he shifted a little and clasped his hands between his legs, a slight bounce of his knee belying his calmness.

He’s nervous like I am.

“What’s your real name?” I asked softly, passing him one of the bowls.

He took it and stared into the sugary mess. “I think I told you the last time I was on this couch that I didn’t want to lie to you.” He looked up, his brown eyes glittering with soft light. “I can’t answer that, and I really don’t want to lie.”

“Okay then, how was your day?” I scooped up a spoonful of cake and shivered at the perfect combination of ice and heat, vanilla and chocolate.

X just kept holding the bowl as if he was a beggar waiting for someone to toss some coins into it. “It was good actually.” His eyebrow rose as he twisted to look at me. “How was yours?”

I took another bite and went to tell him about the wind in my hair and the feeling of flying on Zander’s bike, but…something stopped me. I’d been on the receiving end of jealousy, and as much as I didn’t think X would beat me for being with Zander, I didn’t want to hurt him.

If he had any feelings for me. If his crush was real…I couldn’t tell him I’d found pleasure with another man. What sort of person would that make me?

Just because you haven’t told him doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Had I cheated on X today by feeling so happy with Zander?

Could you cheat on someone you weren’t officially dating?

Sighing heavily, I slouched back and poked half-heartedly at my dessert.

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