Page 76 of Texting Dr. Stalker

My system saturated with adrenaline and anxiety.

Tears gushed against my control. My breathing turned ragged. And no matter how many times I told myself to calm down, I just couldn’t. Nothing worked. Nothing helped. The only thing stopping me from screaming into unconsciousness was my fingernails pinching each arm, giving me something to latch onto.

Pain.

Pain was good. Pain wasreal.

As long as I focused on that, I focused on reality and not the past.

I hated being alone.

I hated that I felt lonely.

The house pressed over me, stagnant and stifling, trapping me inside with the Goblin-Milton from my memories.

A moth fluttered too close, its dusty wings brushing against my cheek.

Swallowing a cry, I bolted upright and reached for the side lamp I’d placed on the floor beside my mattress. I still needed to spray-paint Nana’s old bed frame. I needed to go shopping to buy some furniture, but the thought of going out again? Of being around people—no matter how kind and sweet—God, Ican’t.

Ugh, what’s wrong with me?!

Why can’t I move on from this?

Something thudded in the gloom.

I swear the doorknob of my bedroom jingled.

The moth swooped back over my eyesight.

With a cry, I snatched my gifted phone from the covers.

Me:Are you awake?

I sent the message before I looked at the time.

One thirty in the morning.

Of course he wasn’t awake. He had a job like a normal person. His professional occupation wasn’t watching me for a living.

Of course he’s in bed!

The house creaked again, shooting my heart rate into scary territory.

One of the closely growing trees scratched its branches against my window.

“Nana, if that’s you…can you stop?” I panted into the darkness. “I’m not doing so well, and I really need my imagination to stop running wild.”

The moth appeared again, drawn by my bedside lamp, but then it switched directions and landed on the blue glow of my cell phone screen.

Tucking away its wings, it perched on the edge as if replying to me.

Nodding, I accepted that Nana had heard my request even though the house cracked again, sending an ominous groan through the walls.

That’s it.

My jitters and shivers had me writing another message.

Hopefully, X had his sound off, and I wouldn’t wake him. Hopefully, he’d see this in the morning, and I would’ve survived the night on my own.

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