Page 234 of Texting Dr. Stalker

Peng immediately went to investigate.

With a grimace, I reached for my other eye, but Sailor grabbed my arm and stopped me. “Don’t. I don’t want you to injure yourself.”

I looked up.

We made eye contact.

She gasped. “Oh wow…that…yeah, that does things to me.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

Peering closer, she broke out in goosebumps. “One green, one brown. It’s like…it’s like I’m sleeping with both versions of you at once.”

There were many things I could say to that.

I could laugh it off or tease her, but the only thing I could do was finish what I started.

Grabbing her cheeks, I bent over her and kissed her. “Tell me to stop,” I begged into her mouth. “Tell me this is a dream, and I’m about to wake up.”

“Why? Because you don’t think you can have me?”

“Because I’m petrified this isn’t real.” She’d already spilled her secrets. Now mine torrented off my tongue. “Actually, the truth is…I’m afraid I haven’t worked hard enough for long enough to deserve you. I’m afraid that if I show you who I truly am, you’ll think I’m a fraud. I’m afraid that if I choose happiness over my career, my patients will suffer because I’m selfish for wanting my own life. I’m afraid that if I learn to rely on you, I won’t survive when you decide to leave me. I’m afraid of death taking the people I love the most. I’m afraid of not being good enough to heal them. I’m afraid that if I stop trying to be the best I can be and invite the worst parts of myself, I’ll lose everything.”

She went to speak, but I planted my hand over her mouth.

“I think…” I said softly. “I think that’s what I’m most afraid of. I have this hunger inside me that only gets worse the more I’m around you. The more I fall in love with you, Sailor, the more I want to keep you, and I know in myself that it could lead to a spiralling obsession. I-I don’t know how to take from you and give to you. It’s one or the other for me. And I need…I need—” I swallowed hard. “I need you so fucking much that I’m flat-out terrified of hurting you. Of you hating me. Of you leaving me. Of you knowing exactly who I am when I’ve been hiding, even from myself.”

Silence blanketed us, sticking to all my confessions.

My pulse skyrocketed when she didn’t say anything.

Finally, she pulled away my hand and whispered, “Zander?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.” Her lips found mine.

She kissed me.

I surrendered.

Slinking my fingers into her hair, I held her steady, accepting her kiss before deepening it. The chaos in my chest slowly tamed, and by the time we pulled away, I felt a little more sane. “Sorry…I—”

She pinched my arm. Hard.

“Ow, what the hell?”

“Did you wake?”

I scowled. “No.”

“Well then, this is real. This isn’t a dream. And everything you just said is ridiculous. I’m not going anywhere, you aren’t selfish, and I can’t tell you to stop.” Her breathy tone made my gut clench. “I literally can’t because I want you as much as you want me, and if you don’t give in soon, I’m—”

“I won’t be gentle, Sailor. Not tonight.”

“I told you…I don’t want gentle. I want you to beyou.”

An overwhelming surge of possession pounded through me. With quaking hands, I pushed her back just enough and guided myself to her wet entrance.

---