Page 182 of Texting Dr. Stalker

I almost convulsed at the imagery.

Of X taking me without apology. Driving into me. Freeing me from the chains Milton had wrapped me in.

I needed sex to shatter my rickety prison.

I needed to replace my past with the present, and I didn’t want quaint missionary in the dark. I didn’t want someone to whisper sweet nothings and touch me with velvet gloves.

I wanted bruises to replace old bruises.

I wanted real and messy and hard and fast andconnection.

And that hurt because as much as I crushed on Zander, I couldn’t see him delivering the type of explosive, obsessive, animalistic chaos that I needed. And I didn’t think I could move on until I’d been thrown around in pleasure instead of pain. I didn’t know how to fully heal until another man made me feel as weak and as vulnerable as Milton had that night, only to deliver mind-splintering orgasms instead of life-stealing horror.

Did that make me messed up?

Would it make sense to anyone but me?

I didn’t know, and I was sick of not knowing, but Ineededto know. I wanted to be taken, and ruled, and protected, and pleasured, and the fact that X had woken all these dark colliding, chaotic needs inside me pissed me thehelloff. He might be man enough to make me come, but he wasn’t man enough to make me heal, and that was fine.

It’s fine.

It’s not his job.

I don’t need him.

I’m done.

Me:You know you could’ve just asked what I wanted instead of assuming for me. If you had, you would’ve known I wanted everything you just said. But it’s too late now. You left, and I’m busy. You have twenty-four hours to remove those cameras or else.

He responded within a few seconds.

X:Or else what?

Fury made me grin like a madwoman. I didn’t know how he did it, but good God, he turned me on. Just a few messages, and I was as wet as I had been on my couch when he’d kissed me.

Me:Or else I’ll take the gift you gave me and masturbate in my back garden. I’ll show you just what you’re missing all while I prove that I don’t need you.

“There.” I grinned at Peng. “That’ll teach him.” Swiping away my ponytail, I marched toward the back door. “If he didn’t see how I responded to him or how much I wanted him, then he’s as blind as a freaking bat and good riddance.”

Stomping to the ladder, I shoved the bin liners into my waistband, then wrapped one hand around a rung.

My phone buzzed.

X:If you climb up that ladder, I’m going to snap.

My heart added feathers to its burning comet, turning into a flying fireball.

Me:I can do whatever the hell I want.

X:Like hell you can. I didn’t put this much time and effort into keeping you alive only for you to kill yourself.

Me:Stop watching me. Stop messaging me. Leave me the hell alone.

X:Last chance, Lori. Hire someone else to clean your gutters. It’s not safe to do it on your own.

The fact that he cared so much about my well-being. The fact that a text about something as mundane as house maintenance could somehow become foreplay ought to have warned me not to push any further.

But…screw it.

---