Page 165 of Diamond Kisses

I stiffened. What if no one had told his family about him? What if they were still in limbo like me…waiting for him to go home?

Oh God.

Grabbing my phone from the blanket bundled over my legs, I typed Paavak’s name into Google. I didn’t hold out hope that it’d be as easy as finding him on social media. But…his name wasn’t that common, and I added Leeds to the search.

He said he’d moved to Jaipur to be near extended family, but his parents had stayed…

Immediately, a bike repair company popped up.

Run by ArunChauhan.

Beneath that search was another for a remembering service for his son. A service to say goodbye dated three years ago.

Screenshotting the address, I ripped off the blanket, flew into the house, and shrugged into my rose gold puffer jacket. My grey sweatpants would have to do. My brother’s hoodie that was two sizes too big for me was not visiting attire.

But I couldn’t wait.

I’d waited for far too long.

“I’m going out! I’m taking your car, Mama!”

“Okay, baby! Be safe!”

I didn’t tell them I’d be gone a while.

That the drive between my home and Paavak’s was almost three hours.

I just shot out the door and went to break his parents’ heart. Just like he’d broken mine.

* * * * *

His family home was so similar to mine, I had to bite the insides of my cheeks from sobbing.

A quaint front garden, little cobbled path, pansies in the window boxes, and a red tiled roof. Tudor style white and black cladding with the telltale wavy roof line that showed its age and the fact that the foundations might have sank a little over the years.

Through the left window, a man and woman sat down to dinner. He kissed her on the head as he went to take his chair. She looked up at him with a smile.

Even from here, I knew I’d found the right place.

His mannerisms reminded me so much of his son. His smile as he looked at his wife. The way his eyes crinkled with affection and gratefulness.

My entire body jittered and ached.

The tears I’d bottled up for far, far too long made me sick and horribly sad.

Don’t do this.

They look happy.

They said goodbye three years ago.

I clutched the steering wheel.

I grabbed the keys to wake the engine.

I should go…

What right did I have to hurt them with his death when they already accepted it?

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