Page 36 of (Un)Spoken

“And now?” Dr. Kedir asked, failing to hide her slow smile.

“I’m not sure. Things are kind of up in the air. But Victoria’s coming to stay for a while, so our paths are going to cross again.”

She nodded, leaning back to look at me. “And how do you feel about this development?”

“I was excited, but now, I’m not so sure,” I answered honestly. “Even since Tori left, it’s felt like there’s a void in my life. But at the same time, I’m feeling really fucking nervous.”

“Why?”

I ran my hands over my face. “She was here for a week. Six fucking days, Doc. And I’m already acting like this? What’s going to happen after a month?” I shook my head. “And now there’s her daughter to think about.”

She nodded, jotting something on her notepad. “That definitely adds another layer of complication.”

“Hell yeah, it does,” I sighed. “If you had asked me before this, I would have never thought about dating someone with a kid. And a part of me still thinks it might be too much to take on. I don’t want to let Victoria down, so maybe I should just walk away before anything really starts between us.” I stared at my hands, clenching them. “Even though I know it’s bullshit, I keep thinking about my reputation, what it would mean for her to get involved with me. Even if Cole’s cool with it, which I doubt, is she going to be able to handle what it means to really be with me? The media? The fans? The articles that take minuscule crumbs and make them into the end of the fucking world?” Witheach word, my anger rose, hating that this was a part of my existence. And while it wasn’t a part of my life here, if I went back to my real world, it could tear us apart. “I’m being fucking selfish.”

“And how does that make you feel? The idea of walking away from her?”

“Like I’m going to be sick.” Even saying the words made a stone drop into my stomach. “I’ve always followed my gut, and it’s telling me that this could be something. Something real. Not just for show and not something that only lasts for a night or two. Being around her makes me feel better. I thought being around Emilia would scare me, but it’s the opposite. We’re still getting to know each other, but she’s so damn funny. Completely filter-free. The two of them make me laugh.” I watched Dr. Kedir study me. “Tell me what to do, Doc.”

“I think you already know what you want to do. And I think right now, the best thing you can do is follow that feeling. But…” She smiled softly at me. “I can understand the pressure you’re feeling. Dating a single parent brings its own set of challenges.” She placed her notepad on her side table and leaned closer toward me. “My best advice? Take it day by day. Talk to Victoria and let her decide how to proceed with her daughter. Find out her boundaries, especially when it comes to the media. Yes, your life is different than most, but there are examples of families thriving despite outside pressure. For now, get to know each other and enjoy their time here.”

“And you think that’ll work?”

She smiled at me. “I’m your therapist, Adam, not a psychic. No one knows what the future holds. Only you can decide if the risk is worth it.”

I nodded, leaning back on the couch, and ran my handsover the velvet material. Dr. Kedir studied me, probably waiting for a response.

But I didn’t have one.

Dr. Kedir tapped her pen on the pad, bringing me back to the present. “I’m happy to hear you’re taking steps to reclaim your life and that you’re giving some thought to what it will be like when you return to acting. Have you thought about talking to Theo? Maybe taking on a new project?”

My skin prickled at the thought, but it wasn’t unpleasant, not like it was before. It was more like an energy rushing through my veins, making me desperate to get back in front of the camera. It wasn’t the same rush or roar as before, more like a house cat than a lion, but it was there for the first time in a long time.

But I still shook my head. “I’m getting there. Still not a hundred percent ready yet, but I’m feeling closer than I was before.”

“And the letters?” She looked up at me, knowing I needed the push to talk about this subject. She asked every time we met, though luckily, the answer was the same.

“Nothing, not even an email.” I shrugged. “Maybe they moved on to someone else.”

Dr. Kedir smiled, but it didn’t hold the same weight as before. “I wish I could agree, but in my professional opinion, that’s not likely. I want you to remain vigilant, Adam. And if they start again, I would encourage you to file a complaint with the police or at least hire some outside security.”

“No,” I said. “I’m not bringing outsiders here, making people feel unsafe. If it starts again, we’ll go from there, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. It’s beenalmost four months. Before, I was getting messages every other hour. I’m going to choose to believe it’s over.”

Dr. Kedir nodded, but I didn’t miss the hint of doubt in her eyes. “For your sake, Adam, I truly hope you’re right.”

TWENTY-ONE

As I stared up at our temporary home, my hands tensed with nerves. Coming to Saint Stephen’s Lake by myself, with a firm end date, was one thing. That trip took weeks of preparation and mental Olympics, readying myself for every possible scenario. And even though I had time to prepare for this trip as well, there was something so much more daunting about it. Maybe because Emilia was by my side, making it more real. When I arrived for Cole’s wedding, there was no question: my guard was up. But the people, my brother included, in this town had taken a chisel to my mental walls, leaving them little more than crumbling piles. I felt exposed.

My daughter, however, had no such qualms.

“Mommy, can we please go inside now?”

Her light voice broke me out of my daze, and my focus returned to her smaller hand clenched in mine. Although she was trying her best to be patient, Emilia radiated with excitement, unable to hold it for a moment longer. She’d also been asleep most of the plane ride and the subsequent car trip, so she had extra energy in spades.She’d fight tooth and nail at bedtime, but that was a future problem.

“Okay, let’s do this,” I exhaled, squeezing Emilia’s hand before ascending the stairs. Walking inside, we bypassed the dining room and kitchen nook, moving toward the back end of the main cabin, near the employee offices. Cole left shortly after we arrived, dropping our luggage upstairs before taking off to deal with a guest emergency. Alex also made herself scarce, passing us the key and telling us to make ourselves at home, with a promise to return later with pizza.

I had to admit, I was already impressed by the amount of preparation Cole and Alex had gone through to get ready for our visit. They traded in their usual worn Jeep for a luxury SUV to pick us up from the airport, courtesy of Theo. There was a booster seat in the back seat, and all of Emilia’s favorite snacks were tucked in the center console. My favorite upgrade? The tablet with a bunch of downloaded movies, complete with sparkling purple headphones with cat ears. Emilia let out the most excited shriek when she saw them. Not even twenty-four hours in, and my daughter was completely spoiled by her aunt and uncle.

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