Page 26 of (Un)Spoken

Here I was, thinking that this girl was something special, that she was the one I’d been searching for all this time. Perhaps it was a cruel twist of karma, to give me Victoria, knowing she was perfect for me, only for her to throw the words of my past in my face.

Suddenly, my throat dried up as I pictured the faces of the women I’d said similar sentiments to. How many had asked for more, begged for me to give them a chance? No wonder Victoria wasn’t looking for anything real with me. I wasn’t the guy you settled down with. I was the story you told your friends over drinks at the bar.

“I can’t,” I said, letting her out of my embrace.

“Oh...” Victoria sighed, pulling her lower lip between her teeth. “I thought–” She shook her head. “Right. That was so stupid of me to say. Of course, you don’t want that. We can just pretend it never happened.”

That was not even an option.Her taste was ingrained on my tongue, trapped there forever. But how did I explain to a woman I barely knew anymore that with one kiss, my world tilted on its axis? With the first tentative touch of her lips to mine, I knew those were the only ones I needed. The thought terrified me, and it was my mind that had latched onto her so suddenly. She wanted one night with me. I wanted all of hers. How could I explain that without scaring her away?

As I stared into the hurt expression in her eyes, no words came—at least, not enough to make this right.

“I don’t regret that kiss, Tor,” I said. “Not for a moment. But Cole?—”

“Doesn’t get a say in my sex life.”

“Shit, Tor,” I said, placing her down. “You can’t just say stuff like that.”

“Why?” she snapped, staring at me with a newfound fire in her glare. “Because I’m Cole’s little sister? Because I’m just a kid?”

“That’s not what I said.” She pushed further away from me, not waiting for me to continue. “I–”

“That’s fine, Adam,” Victoria whispered as shebacked away and moved closer to the shore. “Please,please; let’s forget this ever happened. Blame it on a loss of self-control, and we’ll go back to what we were before. You can be Cole’s best friend, and I’ll be his little sister. Those roles work for us, especially because I’m leaving soon.”

“Tor, wait!”

She never paused, calling out one more, “It’s fine,” before swimming back to shore. It took me longer than I wanted to reach her, hating how much space was suddenly between us. It was more than the distance. Victoria’s walls had been down. She’d completely opened herself up to me, and I shut it down without any explanation.

Fuck that.I’d baited her all night, daring her to be brave. Teased her, tempted her, then left her feeling like a fool. But when it came time for me to be honest and face my own fears, I shut down, refusing to speak the words that terrified me.

However, by the time I got to the shore, it was too late. All that remained were the remnants of her footprints along the shoreline, disappearing as she escaped into the grassy field above.

She was gone.

FIFTEEN

As I climbed out of the lake, I thought about rejoining the party but decided my soaked attire would lead to a lot of questions I had zero desire to answer. So, while my heart pounded in my chest, replaying every moment with Adam, my feet carried me right back to my cabin. I didn’t want to see anyone else, sure that they could read the embarrassment written on all my features. As soon as I pushed the door to my cabin open, I walked over to the bed and sunk into the mattress. Falling back against the plush comforter, my hands covered my face, and I let out a frustrated scream. How the hell could I have been so stupid?

Be brave.Those damn words were why. They mocked me, even now. Bravery didn’t suit me, like wearing a pair of shoes that were two sizes too small. I tried and failed. Clearly, this was a sign from the universe that I wasn’t meant to break out of my routine. I was better off on my own, living the quiet life I loved.

At least, I thought I loved it.

While I couldn’t deny I was dying to get back to Emilia, there was another part of my heart that hated to leave SaintStephen’s Lake. While I’d only been here a week, I’d come alive in this small town, making connections and experiencing things I’d never thought possible.

Like kissing Adam Rice.

“Why would you do that?” I asked myself as I sat up to stare into the mirror. “Be brave,” I repeated in a mocking tone. “Bravery is so freaking overrated. Be timid and proceed with caution. That should be my new mantra.”

But even as I said the words, they felt flat, like trying to force my heart back into a small cage. I couldn’t deny the thrill that had overtaken me when Adam kissed me back, his fingers digging into my skin. His touch burned, leaving behind embers of our tangling desires. How was it that I felt more in his one kiss than I had for years with Cam?

The thought felt traitorous, like a betrayal of what I shared with my high school sweetheart. Even though ending it was for the best, I still held some loyalty to the man. He was the one who gave me Emilia, the one who stayed with me even after I turned down his proposal. Heck, he was still helping me, encouraging me to make amends with Cole and insisting he had everything covered at home.

But that wasn’t the same as loving him.

Not that I was in love with Adam. That would be insane. However, his touch felt right, like the kind of passion people wait lifetimes to experience. And maybe it was wrong to shut him down and not let him explain, but standing there in my underwear, aching to touch him when he put a stop to the kiss, felt like the worst kind of torture, as if I’d offered him a piece of my heart and he’d felt nothing but pity for me.

Knowing the tell-tale signs of a spiral, I grabbed my phone, calling my best friend before I could shadow everymoment in a darker lens. She answered on the second ring, her sleepy voice calling out, “Tor, you okay? Aren’t you supposed to be at the wedding?”

“I was, but I needed to get some air,” I answered with a wobbly voice. “I did something monumentally stupid, and I just…I need you to talk some sense into me.”

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