Cam and I talked for a few minutes, going over all the details for my trip back home. While I was getting desperate to see Emilia again, the idea of leaving didn’t sit right with me. It felt like I had just scratched the surface, barely getting to spend any time with Cole.
I crossed my arms over my chest, wondering if I’d be able to return anytime soon. First things first, I needed to talk to my brother. While a week would never be enough time to erase years of hurt, it was a good start. Watching him this week made it clear that I wanted my daughter to get to know her uncle. Maybe after we talked, he could come down to Texas and get to know her in our world.
I smiled to myself as I watched a couple of ducks land on the pond, the still water rippling under their weight. Emilia would love it here. The couple of times we’d driven down to the gulf, she was obsessed with the water and all the animals. I could see her running along the shore, picking up pebbles to save for her memory jar.
With my resolve in place, I turned back to the wedding, watching my brother stare down at his new bride. In a few days, I’d sit him down and talk to him, explaining everything so he would understand my choice. He’d probably be upset, but hopefully, he’d understand where I was coming from.
At least, I hoped he would.
THIRTEEN
I watched as Victoria rejoined the party, brushing her fingers under her eyes and smudging her makeup slightly. Not that it made her any less beautiful. She’d caught my eye the moment she stepped out of her cabin, her wine-colored dress clinging to every curve. The girl was earth-shatteringly beautiful, and it was becoming a real fucking problem for me.
Last night, I couldn’t sleep, wondering what her kiss would have tasted like. There was a moment when I thought we might cross that line, right after I asked her what she wanted. Her eyes darted down to my lips, and I had to clench my fists to keep from reaching for her. Being close but not claiming her was eating me up inside.
Calla and Theo talked at my side, but I paid them little mind, answering their questions with non-committal answers. How could I when my sole focus was gliding across the field, looking like a goddess plucked from a myth? Calla followed my line of sight, smirking when she realized who captured my attention. She nudged my side. “Go sayhi. She’s been quiet all night because she doesn’t know most of these people.”
I nodded and took a long sip of my ginger beer, wishing I had something stronger to steel my nerves. That in and of itself was concerning. I wasn’t used to feeling on edge around women, having gained a good amount of confidence in my youth. But there was something different about Victoria. I didn’t know whether it was because she was related to Cole or because I could see myself getting lost for her.
Dr. Kedir’s words flashed through my mind, making me all too aware that I was letting fear dictate my life. I’d had every intention of letting her go, not wanting to get too close, knowing nothing could ever happen between us.
But then yesterday, I saw her sitting in the gazebo, grinning at her phone, and like the Neanderthal I was, I needed to earn some of her smiles for myself. It was all too easy to fall into a comfortable routine with her, the push and pull igniting feelings I thought I’d buried. It scared the shit out of me—opening myself up, letting someone else see my fears, all of it.
But I’d encouraged her to face her fears; the least I could do was battle my own.
When I reached her on the other side of the field, she looked around, as if trying to face anything but me. “Are you avoiding me, Tori?” I asked with a smirk.
“Avoiding is a strong word,” she smiled, but her cheeks maintained their red flush. It was adorable, and I loved being the one to make her blush. “More like cowering with embarrassment.”
“What do you have to be embarrassed about?”
“That whole thing about my list and wanting to be braver. I know it probably sounded stupid, at least really juvenile?—”
“Hey,” I said, stepping closer so only she could hear me. “I already told you—nothing you’ve said sounds stupid. I think it’s a great idea.”
Her eyes lit up as she looked at me. “Really?”
“Yeah, what do you have to lose? Write some things down, and maybe it’ll motivate you to try something new.”
She nodded as she exhaled, taking in my words. Her eyes softened as she watched Alex and Cole sway together, ignoring the rest of the guests. I had to give them credit for even staying. Theo had bet me ten bucks they were going to stick out the whole night, and I gave them only ten minutes. Of course, the smug bastard won. Oh well. If it was my wedding, I would have snuck away hours ago.
I followed her gaze, watching as they laughed and swayed together. Even though they held Victoria’s attention, my eyes kept drifting to her, my fingers itching to hold her hand in mine.
“Have you ever thought about getting married?” Victoria asked.
“No,” I answered honestly. “Not because I’m against it, but I haven’t met anyone who made it seem worth it. I think that’s the key. Without the right person, it’s just a piece of paper.”
“How right you are,” Victoria sighed.
“What about you, trouble?” I chuckled, bumping her with my arm. “Are any guys back home trying to tie you down?”
“Once,” she said, turning to face me with a sad smile. “I almost said yes, too. But then I realized I didn’t see it for us. I couldn’t imagine a future with him, not beyond what we already were. And that’s when I knew: I’d rather stay single than settle for someone who doesn’t quitefit.”
“And if you find that person?” I swallowed, hating how my throat dried up at her words. “What then?”
“Then we build a life together,” she smiled. “At least, that’s the dream. First, I have to find the guy, and then we’ll go from there.”
As the song in the background drifted to a slow country ballad, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I held out my hand. “Dance with me.”