Page 18 of (Un)Spoken

“You’ve stopped acting, stopped going out into the world. Before Victoria, you haven’t mentioned anyone outside of your circle of trusted friends.” She met my annoyed scowl. “I believe this situation rattled you more than you would like to admit, and you’re afraid of what will happen if you go back to your real life.”

I sunk back into the chair, hating that she could pinpoint my emotions more than I could. Because in truth, she was right. Iwasafraid of what would happen. For months, an unseen presence made my life a living hell, leaving letters and trinkets wherever I went. Being watched was part of the job, but this person invaded every private part of my life—took pictures inside of my home, stole things from my trailer. The nail in the coffin was when they broke into my apartment in the city, leaving behind one word marked in red paint on my wall.

Mine.

I tried to get help, but even with laws against stalking, they only came into effect if you knew the person trying to ruin your life. When I went to file a complaint, no one seemed to take the risk seriously. There were only half-hearted platitudes and promises they would try, but most of these cases went unsolved. The cops recommended I hire a security detail, which probably would have been a smart idea, but I hated the idea of giving up any more of my freedom.

No, instead, I cut and run up to Saint Stephen’s Lake, content to hide away for the rest of my days.

But was I really content? No, not really. I missed acting, missed the way it felt to step onto a set for the firsttime. And even though it had only been a few months since I walked away from that world, I hated that I was watching all my hard work slip through my fingers because of someone else’s actions. While I was enjoying the break from the constant hustle and pressure, this peace was wearing thin. At some point, I wanted to get back to the life I’d earned.

“We’re almost out of time,” Dr. Kedir said. “And I think this is a good stopping point for the week. Think about what I said, Adam. As for Victoria, only you can decide what the best steps would be.”

I nodded, giving her my thanks before walking out of her office. What Dr. Kedir failed to mention was one of my biggest hurdles was that I had no idea what the best steps would be. It felt like I was constantly making the wrong choices, and any mistakes could harm not only me but also those around me.

And that was a risk I wasn’t willing to take.

ELEVEN

The night before the wedding, everyone gathered at the Fox Creek Lodge, running through a simple but effective rehearsal. Without an official part to play in the wedding, I mostly stood on the sidelines, watching as my parents fussed over Cole and his bride.

The lawn was already decorated to perfection, with rows of seating lined up for guests to view the ceremony. I couldn’t get over how Calla had managed to transform the space. It was gorgeous, filled with the region's natural beauty.

As the rehearsal wrapped up, Cole, Alex, and their guests hung around the area, looking over all the final details for the morning. While they worked, I moved to the gazebo, sitting on the bench that faced the lake. It was easy to feel at peace while staring out over the water. The mountains lined the horizon like sleeping giants protecting this town—like nothing could disturb this quiet slice of heaven.

Perhaps, in another life, I could feel at home here as well. And while I’d gained a newfound appreciation for thistown, it was Cole’s home, his world. I was only a bystander, watching as he got to live his dreams.

While everyone else filtered inside for dinner, I stayed out in the gazebo, enjoying the silence for a little bit longer. I fiercely missed Emilia. Cam and Hadley gave me updates every single hour, and we called each other multiple times a day. Even with the ache in my chest, though, I had to admit—it was nice to have some time to just breathe. Ever since she was born, my life had been about her, making sure all her wants and needs were tended to. In every moment, she was my first thought, my first priority. And while I didn’t regret that, it had taken me coming here to realize that while worrying about her, I’d forgotten something important.

Me.

When was the last time I’d done something I wanted to, for no other reason than that? My life was carved out from Emilia’s, and even in no small part, Cam’s. His schedule shaped ours during baseball season, which seemed to stretch longer and longer each year. And as hard as it was when he was away, sometimes it was even more difficult during his stretches of home games. We spent a lot of our time in the stands, supporting him as he lived his dreams. Most nights, I loved it, but there were a lot of times when it was draining, especially when they went into extra innings. Dragging a tired little girl through the stands was not exactly my dream, but it was what we’d do for family. Yet over the past week, it felt like a curtain had been lifted over my eyes, and I was realizing how I’d forgotten my dreams to help Cam pursue his. Hell, even living on his parents’ property was a choice we made to make his life easier; that way, he could see Emilia during his brief time off.

It had been so long since I’d been asked what I wanted that I didn’t even know where to start.

Learn how to play poker.The chuckling voice in my head sounded a lot like Adam’s. He’d teased me mercilessly about my terrible card skills and even offered to teach me how to play better. Maybe I should take him up on it.

A shiver crept up my spine as I thought of how he looked at me at the end of the night, how his fingers felt against the apples of my cheeks. God, how was that man able to elicit such a reaction out of me with seemingly innocent touches? It was like he was a flame and I was the moth, desperate to get closer, even if it meant getting burnt.

Without thinking, I grabbed my phone from my pocket, texting Hadley before I could freak myself out even more.

ME

So I’m starting to think you might be right

HADLEY

About what exactly? I’m right a lot of the time.

ME

Ha. Ha.

About me getting back out there.

HADLEY

HOLY LORD JESUS, IT IS A MIRACLE

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