Page 53 of (Un)Spoken

“Nah, nothing like that,” Cole answered. “I was just thinking how fucking proud I am of you, Tori. I haven’t told you that enough, but I am.”

I cleared my throat, trying to hide the way my eyes started to well. “Thanks, Cole.”

Tense silence brewed between us for a moment, both of us staring at the little girl on the floor like she was a buffer. Finally, Cole leaned in. “What do you have planned today?”

“Not too much. I have a test coming up this week for Econ. I’m taking a light course load this semester because I only have a few classes left, but I don’t want my grades toslip this close to the end. Probably just studying and hanging out with Em.” I arched my brow. “Why?”

“I was thinking we could do something, just the two of us. Alex is downstairs with Calla and Marta, and they offered to spend the day with Emilia, maybe get some of the baking done for breakfast tomorrow.”

“Oh!” I said, chewing on my lower lip. I was torn about what to do. Since I’d stepped foot into town, Cole and I had spent little time alone, always having someone else join us, whether it was Emilia, Alex, or Adam. In truth, I was nervous, not sure if this weird tension between us would just continue to rise or if we’d finally be able to move past it.

Adam’s words played out in my mind, reminding me to be brave. I came here to spend time with Cole, and so far, I’d made every excuse in the book not to. My days had been filled with familiar faces in town, and my nights were consumed by the handsome face of the actor next door. But if I ever wanted to make amends with Cole, I had to start somewhere, and he was here, begging for a piece of my time.

I nodded. “I’d like that. What were you thinking?”

His smile was wide as he looked back at me, “How do you feel about an old-fashioned fishing competition like when we were kids?”

I rolled my eyes as I took a giant bite of my treat. Fishing competitions were how my dad solved most disagreements between us, from who got to pick dinner to the one who had to help do the dishes after Thanksgiving. He’d take us out to a little pond in the back of their property, hand us a Styrofoam cup full of worms, and leave us to it. Whoever caught the most by nightfall was declared the winner.

It had been years since I’d been out, no longer able to visit that spot once I’d kicked Cole out of my life. But the idea of capturing that youthful magic made me smile.

“You’re on.”

THIRTY-ONE

“You’ve been practicing.”

Cole huffed at my side, watching as I reeled in another small bass on my line. I smirked as I pulled the hook from its mouth, posing for a picture with Cole’s phone. It was my fifth today, trumping his measly two.

“Don’t be jealous, big brother,” I teased. “Not everyone can have natural talent like me.”

He cursed under his breath, but I could see the corners of his mouth tick up. In fact, I’d seen him smile more today than I had in years, and it soothed my damaged heart that I was the cause of it.

Our first hour together was awkward, and the air was stifled with tension. Although neither of us was willing to talk about the past, it was still a barrier between us, our last conversation little more than a band-aid on a gaping wound. But as the sun rose in the sky and our reels caught tension, it started to lessen. When I caught my first fish in almost a decade, I let out a carefree laugh and wrapped my arms around his waist. He stilled at first, as if he wasn’t sure he should hug me back. But with a relieved sigh, he held meclose, tucking me into the crook of his shoulder like he did when we were young.

From that moment, we laughed freer and talked about our lives without the pain of the past clouding our memories. It was strange; every time I thought I’d let go of my resentment toward Cole, it seemed like another layer was hiding, lying dormant until something snapped one of my triggers. Then, memories of abandonment and pain would overtake me, making it almost hard to look at the man responsible.

But I was tired of letting my fears control me, letting them define my relationship with Cole. He was my family, and despite our rocky history, he was still here, standing next to me without a sign of wavering. Even after all this time, he’d started to be my river again, a constant strength I could pull from, even after our time apart. While I might not need him now like I did back then, I had to admit, it was good to know he’d be there.

“Whatcha thinking over there, trouble?” he asked, smirking over at me as I picked up my rod.

I cleared my throat, looking out over the lake instead of at Cole. “I missed this,” I whispered. “Hanging out, just you and me.”

“Me too,” he sighed. He held his hand out, taking my reel from me and motioning for me to follow him out of the water. As our feet hit the rocky shores, he turned toward me, his face now carved out of granite. “Look, Tor, about what happened?—”

“We don’t need to go back there,” I said quickly, not wanting to let those memories taint this day.

“That’s the thing—we do,” Cole said firmly. “We keep dancing around this issue, and it’s making things harder between us. I keep thinking, if we don’t talk about whathappened, then we can just move on.” He looked up at me, his similar dark eyes piercing into mine. “But that’s not how it works. We can’t keep pretending, not if we want to move on to better things. So please, Tori. Please, let me apologize to you.”

I let out a dry chuckle. “Pulling the please card on me? You must be serious.”

“Just wait; my next move was pulling out the recovery card. You do know that making amends is step number eight, right?” I laughed, but there was only seriousness looking back at me. I nodded, letting him continue. Cole led me over to a picnic table on the edge of the beach, sitting on top while I settled on the bench.

“I don’t even know where to start,” he said quietly, wringing his hands together. “When I came home from the hospital, I was so lost. I wanted nothing more than to hide myself away and lose all the memories that plagued me. And then, there was you, always trying to make me smile and reminding me of who I used to be. As much as I wanted to be that guy, I wasn’t anymore. I’d seen too much.”

He sighed, staring out at the sky as if it held all the answers. “There was one night when I went out with some of my friends from high school.”

I nodded, remembering that night all too well. It was the first time Cole had stumbled home wasted, crashing into almost every piece of furniture as he tried to navigate back to his room. Hearing the noise, I got nervous and went to help, but he pushed me away, snarling about not needing my help. Cole had never talked to me like that before, and it cut deep, leaving behind a scar that lingered to this day.

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