Page 1 of (Un)Spoken

PROLOGUE

ELEVEN YEARS AGO

The sound of gravel crunching under the weight of the truck’s tires signaled that our time was up. As I stared up at my big brother, a sea of emotions overwhelmed me—but even though sadness and fear lurked in my heart, anger was the strongest of them all. Anger that Cole was leaving before our summer even began. Anger that I didn’t know the next time we’d see each other face to face. Anger that I would be here, on my own, without Cole, for the first time in my life.

Even though I was barely out of diapers when my father retired from the military, I could remember the late nights, wondering if he’d be able to call—or worse: if he’d come home at all. But that was the life of a military child, never knowing when the knock would come that would change your life. However, my father’s career existed long before I was born. I’d never known anything different.

But this? Cole leaving me? That was a pain I’d never anticipated.

My brother had been my protector my entire life. With almost six years between us, he’d been more like a secondfather, replacing the one who was barely ever home. He was my constant, my rock in an ever-shifting river.

While Cole had always talked about joining the army, I never imagined he’d actually enlist. But here we were, only days after his high school graduation, and he was the one with the duffel slung over his shoulder, about to take off for months of grueling training. I closed my eyes, refusing to picture what would come after that.

Adam shifted at my side, bumping my hip with his. My brother’s best friend had spent the last week at our house, helping Cole get ready to ship out. While they never spoke it out loud, I knew this was almost as painful for him as it was for me. Even though Adam didn’t share our blood, he and Cole were brothers, and change was coming for both of them. Despite his good grades and his parent’s desires, Adam was taking off for Los Angeles at the end of the summer, attempting to break into acting instead of going to college. I’d overheard enough conversations between him and Cole to know he only had a couple years to find some success before his parents would force him back home. His dad was getting up there in years, and running a dairy farm was grueling work. He was ready for his son to take over.

As much as I knew Adam didn’t want that life, a small, selfish part of me wished he’d come home early. Maybe if everything else stayed the same, Cole would somehow come home sooner and be the same too.

The truck shifted into park, and my father stepped out of the cab, giving Cole a solemn nod. “Time to go, son.”

My father was a man of few words, but it was clear how conflicted he felt. While he loved that his only son was following in his footsteps, he knew better than most what awaited Cole. I’d heard him confessing his fears to my mom in the middle of the night when he thought no one waslistening, but come the light of day, he never wavered in his support.

Cole swallowed hard, blinking away any scrap of emotion as he looked down at me. “Try not to cause too much trouble while I’m gone, Tor.”

“I’m not the one who likes to give Mom gray hair.” I rolled my eyes, trying to swallow my fear. But as I looked up at him, all the humor died on my tongue. “I promise, Cole. Best behavior.”

“I don’t know about going that far,” he laughed as he reached down to hug me. His arms encircled me, and he held me close to his chest. Cole’s breath shuddered as he lowered his voice. “Me and you against the world, right, trouble?”

“You know it,” I chuckled, desperately trying to hold back my tears. As much as they wanted to fall, I couldn’t do that to Cole. I pulled back, pushing his hand away as he mussed up my hair. “Be safe, Cole.”

“You got it, Tor.”

As Cole walked up to Adam, I ducked my head, fixating on the ends of my ponytail instead of the sight in front of me. My brother whispered something to his best friend before he released him with a steady clap on the back. Cole nodded down to me, “Keep an eye on her for me, would you? Don’t let her convince you she’s some angel. Just ask Mr. Michaelson.” He gave me a stern look. “He’s still asking about what happened to his dog.”

“He should have taken better care of her,” I muttered, crossing my arms around my chest. I slammed my mouth shut, remembering that my official stance was the gate latch had broken and the dog must have gotten out. Whether or not she’d had a little help and found her way to a much nicer family on the other side of town, I had no idea.

Adam smirked as he glanced at me, sharing a knowing look. He might have also had a hand with the dog’s relocation plan, but that was only because he found me stranded on the side of the road, trying to tug along a dog over half my size. Without a word, he’d pulled over, lowering the gate to the back of his truck. We rode in almost complete silence, with only me pointing directions to the dog’s new home. Even when he dropped me off later, we never spoke about it, Adam telling Cole he’d given me a ride home after he spotted me walking back from a friend’s house.

“You got it, man,” Adam said, patting Cole on the shoulder. “Just focus on what you’ve got to do. I’ll make sure everyone is good here.”

With one last nod, Cole turned, readjusting his pack as he joined my father at the truck. He glanced out the windshield, and our eyes connected, a slew of emotions and unshed words crossing the distance. I dug my nails into the palm of my hand, refusing to show any weakness. My momma said that Cole needed our strength.

“It’s a tremendous honor,” she’d said as she folded some of his clothes. “Cole’s serving our country. He’s going to need all our support.”

I didn’t care about any of that. I just wanted my brother to stay safe.

As we watched him pull away, the dust and gravel churned under the tires, leaving a trail of debris behind. When it settled, there was no sign of Cole, no mark to show the crater that his absence would create in my life.

“He’ll be back,” Adam said, almost more to himself than me. “This is the hard part, Tor. He’ll be back before we even know it.”

Even though we both knew it was a lie, I said nothing, knowing then that my life would never be the same.

ONE

Present Day

“This was a mistake.”

I stared at myself in the airport mirror, trying to calm my erratic nerves. My hands shook as I pushed my hair behind my shoulder, trying to fix a couple of curls that refused to cooperate. All morning, my stomach had wound itself in knots, imagining the worst-case scenarios. From the car not showing up to the plane going down in flames, it felt like my anxiety had taken control of every thought. But now that my feet were safely on the ground, all I could think about was what was waiting for me outside the airport.

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