Page 70 of (Un)Expected

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly. “I didn’t hurt you, right?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I wanted that. I liked seeing you lose control.”

“Only for you, Alex.” Cole leaned in and kissed me softly. “You made me forget my damn name.”

“Was it enough to make you forget your no-sex rule?”

“Nope,” Cole chuckled, pulling me back toward the bed. “Not tonight. Now, get your ass on that bed. I’m going to hold you for the rest of the night.”

Sounded perfect to me.

THIRTY

“And then what did you do?”

Calla arched her brow. She’d been trying to get to the bottom of my night with Cole for almost an hour, but I’d refused to tell her much, preferring to keep the details to myself.

We’d barely slept at all, too wrapped up in each other to even consider closing our eyes. Still, I wasn’t as exhausted as I expected. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Waking up with Cole in my bed felt right, like it was something I’d want to see every morning. I couldn’t stop the smile on my face when I thought of him stretched out across my pillows, his black t-shirt clinging to his body.

“I call bullshit,” Calla giggled. “Youtotallybanged him. It’s written all over your face.”

“I did not!” I said, flopping onto her bed and hiding beneath one of the pillows. “And not because I didn’t want to, because holy fuck—that man isverytalented. Cole wanted to wait, give us something to look forward to later.”

“Okay, yes,” Calla said. “I can get on board with that logic. At least you know it’ll be worth the wait. He looks like he knows whathe’s doing. Did he do that possessive thing where he grabbed you and pulled you into his arms?”

Yes, but I wasn’t about to share that with Calla, even if she was my best friend. If it were a random guy, sure, I would have told her everything that happened last night, but talking about Cole in that much detail felt wrong, like an invasion of our shared intimacy. So instead, I just smiled.

“Fine, don’t tell me.” She rolled her eyes. “So, is this official? Are you two an item? What does this mean with Adam?”

“Umm…” I trailed off, not sure how to answer her questions. They were similar to the ones Cole voiced last night, ones I also had no answers for. While I didn’t regret taking that step, I hesitated when Cole asked me for more, and I had no idea what to do with the Adam situation. I felt guilty leaving him hanging, knowing I still had time left on my contract. Cole wanted to tell him, hating that he’d already hidden his feelings for me for so long.

I wasn’t opposed to telling Adam—I wanted him to know almost as badly. However, the last few times we spoke, Adam was so fixated on the movie, he’d barely been sleeping. I didn’t want to add to his stress, not if we could keep this between us a little bit longer.

I told Cole my reasons and ultimately left the decision in his hands. He was the one with decades of friendship; I was a temporary stop along the way.

Calla stared at me as if she kept up with the silent conversation in my head. She leaned against her dresser, crossing her arms around her chest. Instantly, my defenses rose; I was all too familiar with her interrogation stance.

“Okay, so riddle me this,” Calla said. “You had an amazing night...”

“The best.”

“So why are you still holding back?”

“What?” I snapped. “I’m not! I hooked up with him. You know that’s rare for me.”

“True,” Calla said. “But you’re also not pushing for more. I knowyou, Alex. You start looking for an out before there’s even a reason. You’re holding back. Why else would you commit to a fake relationship when the real thing is standing right in front of you?”

“Adam needs?—”

“Adam Rice is a grown man, one who has lived in Hollywood for years without your help. You’re using this arrangement as a way to keep Cole at arm’s length. So tell me what’s really holding you back.”

I sighed, hating that she knew me that well. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, Iwasusing my “relationship” with Adam as an additional wall between Cole and me.

When I was with Cole, everything seemed so simple, like being together was the most obvious thing in the world. I couldn’t help remembering his face when he told me about his drinking problem, his entire body poised for rejection. If anything, it made me fall for him a little bit more. His raw honesty made me want to open up about my past and tell him about the life I kept hidden away.

Despite my heart telling me it was time, a part of me couldn’t release the words into the world. My shame was inked too deeply on my bones, and it was never going away. There were still too many unknowns, too many questions left lingering in my mind. There was no telling if Cole would accept my past. I accepted his past, but it wasn’t a reciprocal thing. I couldn’t ask him to forgive my sins just because I wanted him to move past his own. That wouldn’t be fair. Still, a small part of me hoped that he would.

Calla laid down next to me, taking my hand in hers. “I can see your thoughts spinning already. Is this really about Cole, or is it about?—”

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