Page 67 of (Un)Expected

I nodded, not because I wanted to, but because I wasn’t about to push my luck. Calla put money down that Alex would attack me when she found me in the kitchen. Luckily, Marta and Curt had my back and thought she’d find it romantic.

Thank fuck they were right.

Alex glanced up at me, her wide, ocean-blue eyes filled with a weird apprehension. “Unless…” She turned, looking at the clock once again. “I know it’s late. If you’re not too tired, though, there’s something I’d like to show you.”

“Lead the way.”

Alex stepped forward, lacing my fingers with hers as she pulled me outside. In the darkness beyond her porch, there are barely any other lights, no other sounds. It was peaceful, one that lulled my aching bones. Instead of heading toward the car, she turned right. I’d never noticed the winding pebble path beyond the driveway, and I followed her as we walked, getting a clear view of the lake beyond the trees.

Before we got too close, we reached a small clearing. There was a freshly mowed patch of grass, and in the middle, there was a stone fire-pit, four wooden Adirondack chairs surrounding it. Alex shifted so she could meet my eyes. “What do you think?”

I lifted our linked hands, bringing her to my side as I softly kissed the side of her head. “It’s perfect.”

Alex moved away from me, and instantly, it was like the air dropped several degrees. She went over to a pile of wood, adding a few logs to the top of the fire pit before lighting a match. Small crackles of embers lit up instantly, clinging to the dried pieces of wood and other kindling she’d thrown in the pit.

When Alex was satisfied the fire would last, she motioned to one of the chairs. “Get comfortable.”

I sat down in the closest chair, linking my fingers through one of her belt buckles. With a quick tug, I brought her into my lap, and she squirmed a little, her sweet, tight ass connecting with my groin. Holy hell. That shouldn’t feel that good. As I tried to keep myself together, Alex rolled her eyes, smacking me in the chest. “This wasn’t what I meant.”

“You said to get comfortable. That’s what I’m doing.”

She snorted a curse under her breath but didn’t get up, instead nuzzling further into my chest. We sat silently for a while, watching the fire crackle and burn. If it were under any other circumstances, I’d look for an exit after ten minutes. However, I'd never felt more content with Alex’s soft sighs and her weight against my chest.

At least until my phone rang, breaking apart our peaceful bubble. When I pulled out my phone, Alex’s eyes instinctively flashed to the screen. The moment she read the words “My Favorite Girl,” Alex stiffened, leaping out of my lap and heading toward the house.

“Fuck,” I muttered, following quickly behind her. “Alex, it’s not what you think.”

“It’s fine,” she said, refusing to turn around. “I shouldn’t have looked. It’s none of my business.”

I caught up to her the moment she reached the door, and my hand encased hers on the doorknob, not letting it turn. My free hand grabbed her hip, twisting her so she was facing me. From this closeness, it was impossible not to get swept away into her gaze. I hated the hurt in her eyes, how I could practically see her frantically reassembling her walls, trying to place as much distance between us as possible.

As one tear fell from the corner of her eye, I lifted my thumb, brushing it away. “I promise, Alex, it’s not what you think. That’s what I call Dani. She’s….”

“Your girlfriend back home,” Alex answered for me.

“Fuck, no,” I stammered. “Do you think I’d be here if I had someone back home?” I closed the distance between us, brushing my lips lightly over hers. “Alex, I wantyou. That’s it.”

Alex sighed, keeping her eyes closed as she nodded. When she looked back up, I could still see a question in her gaze. “You don’t have to tell me.”

My chest thundered, unsure if it was the right time to discuss that part of my past. I’d spent so many years hiding my faults, hoping that if I buried them deep enough, they couldn’t affect me anymore. However, some demons didn’t like to lay dormant; instead, they used your ignorance as a playground.

I exhaled slowly, taking a moment to savor this moment in case it was the last time I’d get to hold her. No matter how scared I was of her reaction, this was the right path.

If I wanted her trust, I also needed to give her mine.

“Dani’s my sponsor.”

Alex’s brows shot up to the top of her forehead, but she didn’t say anything, allowing me to continue. With one last, steadying breath, I released my truth.

“I’m an alcoholic.” I exhale slowly. “It started after I got discharged from the VA hospital. I got home, and I,fuck, Alex, I was so damn lost. Everything I’d worked for had been ripped away in an instant. I was in pain, and they wouldn’t give me any more pills. They could see how much I was struggling, trying to get me in to talk to someone instead. But I was too damn stubborn, a fucking fool.” I sighed, stepping back to lean against the railing. “At first, the drinking was just to get some sleep at night, to escape the nightmares that kept me up. Then, that wasn’t enough, and I’d start a little earlier. Almost a year after I got home, it was all day. I’d wake up and have a drink and not stop until I passed out for the night.”

Saying the words out loud felt like dragging a knife through mychest. Even almost seven years later, I felt guilty for how I handled myself. I was weak,pathetic, and I hated that Alex knew what a broken man I’d been.

Despite the shame, I forced myself to continue. “I’ve been sober for 19 months, and I’m doing well. Dani checks in daily to ensure I’m keeping on the right track, staying away from any stressors.” When Alex said nothing, I stepped back, wishing I could see into her head more than ever. “Look, I get if this is a deal-breaker for you. My sobriety is the most important thing to me, so if you can’t handle that, I’d rather know now.”

It took everything in me to stay standing, to stay silent, as Alex studied me for several minutes. Part of me loved that she wasn’t pacifying me with pretty words she didn’t mean, but the other half desperately needed to know her thoughts.

After the longest silence of my goddamn life, she took a small step toward me, lifting herself on her toes to press her lips to mine. It started apprehensive, so I didn’t dare move or ask for more. However, when she linked her arms around my neck, I lost the limited control I had left.

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