Page 42 of (Un)Expected

“I have time.”

Alex looked over at me, studying me with those wide, bright blue eyes. I needed to find the name for the color, wanting to memorize it for when she wasn’t around.

Who the fuck had I become?

But as she hesitated, I continued, “If you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll drop it.”

“It’s not worth talking about,” she quietly answered, scraping the toe of her shoe in the dirt. “Shit happened, and I had to make a choice.” Alex shrugged, looking out over the horizon. “I’ve always been better at running from my actions than sticking around to deal with the consequences.”

Join the club.

“I get it,” I added. “Sometimes, it’s easier to let the past stay there than try to deal with it.”

She turned her head, shielding her eyes to stare at me for a moment. I kept my gaze trained ahead, not trusting myself if I looked at her. There was too much temptation to open up to her, to drop my baggage at her feet and see if it helped with the weight, to know if she’d look at me the same way if she knew who I really was.

So instead, I said the one thing I knew would kill any chance of me doing something stupid.

“Adam told me about your date.”

Alex instantly recoiled, taking a sizeable step away from me. Damn. Even though it was what needed to happen, the new distance between us cut me like a knife.

She slowly nodded, keeping her eyes trained on the lake below. “Yeah, we’re supposed to go out on Saturday after he gets back.”

“Gotta say, that surprised me.”

“That he asked me out again?”

“Yup,” I said, unable to keep the bitterness out of my voice. “Seemed like you two didn’t have a great time on your last date.”

Alex dropped her eyes, staring at her shoes. “It was a great date. I got in my head, and….” She shook her head. “Forget it. You don’t need to know any more than that. All that matters is that Adam and I are excited for Saturday.”

My hands tightened on instinct, feeling like there was something more Alex wanted to say. Still, pushing it wasn’t my place, not when she was talking about my best friend.

Instead, I grunted out a half-hearted “Great.”

Alex whipped her head toward me. “What’s your problem?”

“I don’t have one.”

“Don’t,” she snaps. “Don’t do that. If you have an issue with me, then tell me.”

“I don’t.”

“Bullshit,” she seethes. “You've been avoiding me for weeks, and now you want to give me a hard time because I’m hanging out with Adam? You were the one who said that ouralmostkiss, whatever that was, was a mistake, so stop taking it out on me.” She chuckled to herself, but there was no humor in the sound. “You know, I thought we were becoming friends, but every time, you shut me out. I don’t know what you want, Cole.”

My jaw tightened so much, I was afraid my teeth were going to crack. I wantedher, and that was the problem. She had invaded my bloodstream from our first conversation, and every new moment I spent with her only increased that feeling. But it didn’t make what I said any less true. Yes, it was a mistake to think about kissing her, but I did, and in truth, I’d thought about it a million fucking times since then—how it would feel to claim her lips with mine, to wrap her hairin my fist and expose the delicate skin of her throat, to make her scream my name so many times, her throat went hoarse.

The thought alone had my blood rushing to the worst possible place. Closing my eyes, I forced my thoughts to anything else: my grandmother, Theo’s smug face, literallyanythingother thanher.

When I opened them, Alex was still glaring at me, her hands propped on her hips. There was so much I wanted to say to her, but none of it would help. Instead, I went with the words I knew I should say.

“Look, Alex, I’m not taking anything out on you,” I lied. “Yes, we had a moment, but that can’t—no, itwon’thappen again. But we’re also not friends. We don’t even know each other. If you’re looking for someone to spend time with because you’re lonely, Adam’s your guy. So just stop, Alex. Stop trying to get to know me. Stop trying to be my goddamn friend. Please.” My voice broke a little, so I coughed to cover it up. “Leave it alone, Alex.”

I hated myself the minute the words left my mouth, but I knew I had to be that harsh. Anything less, and I’d break. It wasn’t only that Adam was interested in her—it was that he was the best guy I knew, the kind of man who deserved her. I was too broken, too fucked-up, to make something good last for more than a night. If she stuck around, she’d see through me. I couldn’t take that risk, for either of our sakes.

Alex hastily wiped the corner of her eye, and it cut deep in my chest. This was the second time I’d made her upset, and I hated myself a little more for it. But even with my self-loathing, I was still desperate for her anger. I selfishly needed her to fight back, to show that spark I’d started to crave.

Instead, Alex shook her head, twisting to turn back down the trail. All I could hear as she started to descend was a muttered, “Fuck you, Cole.”

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