Page 59 of (Un)Expected

“It’s me, Alex.”

Cole?My heart beat erratically as I pulled the door open, revealing him waiting on the other side. With his fist resting on the door frame, I took him in. His breathing was ragged, almost like he ran the entire way here, but other than that, he wasn’t bleeding or showing any other signs of distress.

“Are you okay?” I asked, shoving his coat to the side to check for injuries.

“Fine. I just needed to see you.”

“What the fuck?” I hissed, pulling him inside. “You scared the shit out of me pounding on the door like that! Have you lost your fucking mind?”

“Yeah…” he said, staring at me with an intensity I’d never seen before. “You’re damn right I have.”

Without another word, he crashed his lips to mine, making me gasp. It took a moment for my brain to catch up with his actions, and I was suddenly very aware that Cole was kissing me.

Cole waskissingme.

And holy hell, it felt amazing.

My brain screamed out questions, but my body had other plans, cataloging how incredible his lips felt on mine. His strong hands gripped my hips tightly, dragging me closer to him, and was that…yep, that was his erection, poking me in the stomach with a mind of its own. The sensations were all too much and not enough at the same time—I wanted him everywhere. When his hand started to stray further north, his thumb brushed a bare patch of my skin.

The slight action broke the spell between us, and I placed my hand on his chest, shoving him out of my space. “What do you think you’re doing? Adam?—”

“Told me everything,” he answered quietly, his eyes still trained on my lips. “I know your relationship isn’t real. When he told me that…” Cole lifted his gaze to meet my eyes, and I swore my knees went weak. No one had ever looked at me like he did, like I alone had the power to save him or damn him. “Alex, I’ve been such a fucking idiot. I kept pushing you away because I thought we were going to hurt my friend, but now that I know the truth….”

“Nothing changes,” I forced out, dropping my gaze down to my feet. If he kept staring at me like I was his salvation, I’d break. His kiss felt too good; his hands belonged on my body, but none of that changed that Cole had already pushed me away.Twice. Was it worth the risk to see if he would do it again? Maybe other people would jump right in, but with my history, I was cautious to a fault. I’d pick the safe route almost every time, and as much as I hated to admit it, Cole would never be the safe choice.

“You’re right. This thing between Adam and I, it’s all business,” I said. “We’re friends, nothing more, but that doesn’t mean you and I are anything either.”

“But we could be,” Cole quietly said as he took my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. “You feel this, sweetheart. I know you do.”

I shook my head. “That’s not it.”

He waited, watching as my chest rose and fell with the war raging inside me. My heart screeched for me to let go, to throw caution to the wind, but my heart had always dictated my actions, and that had only led to heartache and pain. Perhaps it was time to let my brain take the lead, and it was telling me that this was a mistake.

“Cole…” I said, dropping his hand. “I do feel something for you. I’m not denying that.”

“But?”

“I don’t trust you.” The words drowned out everything around us, a silent tension replacing the lust that was there moments earlier. “I know you’re a good man, but I’ve opened up to you a couple of times, and every time, you’ve knocked me down. I can’t risk,” I motioned between the two of us, “us becoming more and letting youhurt me. Not when I’m just starting to stand on my own two feet again.”

Cole stepped back, running his hand through his hair. He stayed quiet for so long, I was worried he hadn’t heard me. After several minutes, he turned back toward me, placing his hand on my jaw, his thumb tracing a delicate line along my cheek.

My heart, that traitorous bastard, almost purred at the move.

“I know I hurt you, Alex, and I’d promise it won’t happen again, but words will never be enough to prove it to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m in this, sweetheart. You want to be friends, we’re friends. Hell, I’ll be the first one running when you call. If it makes you smile, I don’t care what it takes: jokes at my expense, beating me at mini-golf—fuck, I’ll make you pancakes every goddamn morning if that’s what you want.” He stepped closer, tipping back my head until my eyes met his, his pupils darkened with desire. “In exchange, I’m asking for one thing.”

I swallow, nodding because I didn’t trust myself at the moment.

“You let me into that head of yours.” His fingers shifted so he could brush a few strands of hair away from my face. “I’d never push you into anything you don’t want. You say this won’t work, and I’ll stop trying. If you change your mind? You can be damn sure I’ll be there waiting.”

My heart almost cracked at his words. I was tempted to tell him no, but instead, all I could manage was a quiet “Why?”

He stared down at me, raw vulnerability bursting from his gaze. Cole swallowed, dropping his voice lower. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, Alex—more than you can even imagine. I know I don’t deserve someone as good as you, that you deserve better than me, but I don’t care. I’ve known there was something special about you since we met.” His lips curved. “I had to tell you what I felt. I had to try. You…You’re worth putting it on all on the line.” He reached up, stroking my cheek with his calloused thumb. “Can we try?”

Yes. The word screamed in my mind, wanting nothing more thanto be let free. But a steady fear held me back, unable to get past the lingering feelings of rejection. “I need to think about it.”

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