Page 137 of Raw

Not sure how that helped her figure out if there was something wrong with me, and we hadn’t started to talk about those dreams until I mentioned them thirty minutes into our conversation.

To me, it seemed as if I could’ve just asked Google what was wrong with me.

But Mama wanted me to come, and I did all this just to please her and hopefully not be bothered by her any longer afterward.

“Those dreams you had…how many times did they occur?”

I shrugged, looking down at my hands and picking at the skin around my fingernails.

“When I first went to live with Papa and Fennec, that’s when they happened more often than before. Fennec also told me I sleepwalked a lot more than I did at home.”

“And what happened in those dreams? Do you remember certain things better than others?”

“No, I remember them all the same. Some things were…” I stopped myself because I knew where this conversation was headed.

I didn’t want her to know about Fennec and me.

“Unexpected?” she asked.

“Well, yeah. But aren’t dreams supposed to be unexpected? You can’t tell your mind what to dream when you’re asleep.”

Mrs. Irvine smiled. “Your mind has the ability to control your dreams. It’s called lucid dreaming, and I think that’s what’s happened to you. Though, it is very possible for you to have had different experiences that made you think you were dreaming.”

I frowned at her. “Yes, probably when I sleepwalk,” I stated.

“Sleepwalking occurs while in a state of sleep. What I’m thinking of is something else.”

I watched her check something on her clipboard, which she had been doing ever since starting this session, and when she looked up again, she narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. “Ever heard of schizophrenia?”

“In school,” I replied.

“It’s a little early for me to diagnose you, but I’m more than ninety percent sure that this is what you’re dealing with. Schizophrenia can make you hallucinate or delusional, and from what you’ve told me about those dreams, I don’t think you’ve ever sleepwalked.”

What the hell was she talking about?

“Are there other symptoms?” I asked, wanting to know if anything else felt familiar to me.

Just because I had lucid dreams, didn’t mean she could diagnose me with schizophrenia.

“Some symptoms are disturbances of emotions or disorganized speech,” she replied.

“I’ve never had those things.”

“You don’t have to have all symptoms to have a mental illness, Vespyr.” She was calm while my body started to shake.

I wasn’t mentally ill.

I was fine.

I’ve always been fine.

“If it’s okay with you, I’d like to ask you about Fennec. You’re very close to him, is that true?”

“He’s my everything,” I told her, starting to feel anger toward her.

She was just doing her job, but I wasn’t prepared to be labeled as schizophrenic.

“I understand the love a sister can have for her brother, but I hope you understand that some lines should never be crossed.”

---