Hunting was exactly what I needed today.
After hearing Vespyr and Papa talk about me, I wasn’t in the mood to regard either of them while we walked deep into the forest.
I had gone back to sleep after I ate my dinner and didn’t bother waiting on the tea Ves made for me.
As angry as I was for hearing everything they said, I was glad they didn’t figure out what was really wrong with me.
Of course, there was something wrong with me.
I knew.
I’ve always known.
But it was nobody’s business.
Not even Mama when she dragged me to that fucking therapist when I was a kid.
Thing was, not even professionals could cure my brain.
It was hopeless, and no medication would ever make me feel like a normal human being.
I was long gone, and no matter what, they’d have to take me as I was.
“We should lay low for a little while. The claw prints haven’t been here for too long, and I’m sure that bear is still wandering around here somewhere,” I heard Papa say.
They were walking a few feet behind me, and when I stopped to look at them, Vespyr’s eyes were sad and confused.
She had tried to talk to me this morning, but I couldn’t get over her talking behind my back.
As close as she was with me, she was just as close with Papa.
And you hate that. You hate knowing she loves him as much as she loves you.
For once, I had to agree with the voices in my head.
“Is that okay or do you wanna go further out?” Papa asked me.
I didn’t care, so I shrugged.
“Let’s stay here for a while. The sun shining through the trees will keep us warm even without walking,” Vespyr said.
She was a smart girl, and she knew that trying to change my mood today wasn’t a good idea.
She was being careful with her words.
Good for her.
I turned my back to them again and pulled my shotgun to the front in case that bear chose to show itself right before my eyes.
Shooting it would definitely help me relax.
Shooting Papa would have the same fucking effect on you.
I shook my head at those words echoing in my mind.
Those voices could push me to do things I would probably regret, and by doing what they just told me, I would only hurt Vespyr.
Never my intention.