Page 77 of Claimed By Desire

“Don’t stop,” I command, and she keeps going, her body shaking as the orgasm rips into her, but she keeps my dick in her mouth the whole time, moaning as she licks it.

I can’t explode onto her tongue. The orgasm rips into me, and for a second, there’s only bliss. She moans and swallows me, and I praise her as she finishes licking my shaft, cleaning every last drop.

“You got here fast,” she says when we’re done. We sit beside the pool and her head rests on my shoulder. Her top’s still off and my boxer briefs are kicked somewhere nearby.

“I was in the parking lot when I texted.”

“Really?” Her eyebrows raise and she grins. “How come you didn’t just head up right away?”

“I like looking at you.” I lean down and kiss her softly. My thumb strokes her chin.

She lips her lips and looks out at the river. “Do you really mean that?”

“Absolutely.”

“And you meant what you said in those texts?”

I pull her chin and make her look at me. “Every word. I’ve wanted you for a long time, but I couldn’t let myself take the risk. I’ve always defined myself a certain way…” I trail off, not sure how to explain it.

I’ve been a good soldier all my life, and wanting her was wrong. How could I be loyal to the Federov family while wanting to fuck their little sister? How could I still think of myself as a good, upstanding man, if all I wanted was to slide my cock between Natalya’s pretty lips?

“You could’ve said something.”

“If I did that, then I would have had to face who I really am.” I turn to the pool and stare down at the water. The sky is pink and purple and rapidly getting darker. “I’m not perfect. I’m not what everyone thinks I am. If I gave in and let myself take a risk with you, then it would be like betraying everything I stand for.”

She’s silent for a moment. Maybe now she’s beginning to understand how difficult this has been for me.

“But you took the leap this time,” she whispers.

“No, baby.” I stare at her and put a hand on her thigh. “I took the leap in Paris. When I saw you at the piano and heard your playing, it just reminded me of everything I’ve always felt aboutyou, and I just couldn’t help myself. Then you got pregnant, and even though I sent you away that first time, even though I keep making excuses and saying I’m stepping up because it’s my duty, the truth is that I’m here because I want you. And I don’t know what that says about me. I’m afraid it means I really am just a worthless traitor.”

She touches my chest. The weight inside my heart and leaning on my shoulders is almost too much to carry, but I’ll bear it anyway, because that’s what I’ve always done. I’ll continue on for her.

“You’re not a traitor,” she whispers. Her hand moves up to my cheek. “But you don’t have to be perfect either.”

“I’m from nothing. You were born into a powerful family. But my parents were alcoholics and addicts. I’ve had to fight for everything.”

“I know that, but it still doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. You’re still a man, Alexander. You can let yourself be flawed.”

I don’t know if that’s true. It feels wrong, especially given the way I’ve lived my life to this point. I’ve defined myself based on how strong and how steady I’ve been, and how can I let that go now?

But maybe she’s right.

Wanting her like this can’t be wrong. Even if it feels like I’m giving up a part of myself.

Is that really a part worth keeping if it means holding myself back from being with her?

I kiss her gently. She kisses me back. And right there, that small moment, it feels better than anything else I’ve experienced up to this point.

“Come with me,” I say, standing up.

“Where are we going?”

“Inside. I want to shower off, and I want you there with me.” I pull her up against me. Her bare breasts feel nice against my skin. “If I’m going to be flawed, I might as well enjoy myself.”

She laughs and kisses me, and she doesn’t argue when I drag her inside and spend the rest of the night accepting all my imperfections.

Chapter 30

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