Page 49 of Claimed By Desire

He’s beautiful, especially out here in the moonlight. It’s almost ethereal and ghostly. He looks like an angel, but I know he’s more like a devil than anything else.

“Can’t sleep,” he says, still not looking at me.

“That’s strange. It’s almost like you’re in your own bed.”

I don’t know why I’m trying to antagonize him right now, but he doesn’t take the bait.

“I come out here sometimes too in the summer. It’s nice out here at night. There’s a breeze off the river and shipping containers unload on the docks. I like to watch those.”

I follow his gaze south and can see the port in the distance. “Is that why you bought this place?”

He smiles to himself and shakes his head. “You know the kind of family I grew up in. We never had any money, mostly because my dad gambled it all away. Well, when I started getting paid, it was like an entirely new world. This was the first nice place I saw when I was looking to buy, and I signed the lease on the spot because it was the most expensive listing on the market at the time.”

I smile at the image of a young and stupid Alex excited to spend money for the first time. “That must’ve been nice, getting your own place.”

“A clean, safe space does a lot for a person.”

“That’s how I felt about my Paris apartment. Did you know that was the first time I ever lived outside my dad’s house?”

“I did know that.”

“It was weird at first. I kept thinking I’d wake up and find Lev in the kitchen or Step in the bathroom. But then I started to like it.” Sort of, anyway. I liked having something that was all mine—but I didn’t like the loneliness and isolation.

“You can have that again, you know. Maybe not right now, but in the future. When things are safe and settled.”

I glance at him and for some reason that doesn’t appeal to me at all. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“I’m going to take care of you.” His dark eyes stare into mine with a deep intensity. “I promise, Natalya. I know this has been hard, and it won’t be easy anytime soon, but I’m going to take care of you.”

I look back at him and a thrill runs down into my toes. He’s going to take care ofme, not the baby, not our family, butme, and I know it’s selfish to feel excited about that but I feel it anyway.

I want him to see me so desperately.

This is the Alex I know is always there, even if he’s hidden away sometimes. This is the kind, caring Alex, the man that would do anything for the people he cares about. Even if he’s a pain in the ass, I know this part of him is waiting right beneath the surface.

Sometimes I forget about it though.

“I know you will,” I tell him quietly. “I’m sorry you have to.”

“It isn’t your fault. I wanted this.”

“That makes one of us.” I force myself to look away. “I don’t know what there is for me. After, I mean.”

“We have a long time to figure that out.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“You’re smart, even if you are stubborn as all hell. You’ll find something that makes you happy.”

I nod a little but don’t meet his eye, because I’m not sure that’s true.

He pushes himself back from the railing and ghosts toward the door.

“Heading in?” I ask, not sure why it matters.

“Yeah, and you should too. Quit being stubborn and come sleep with me.”

“I’d rather be tired.”

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