Page 41 of Claimed By Desire

I can’t guess how he feels right now. After Step died, family became his everything, and I consider him more of a brother now than he ever was before. I’m not sure how I could’ve processed the grief around Step without Lev.

“Are we going to talk about it?” I say and he doesn’t look over.

“Fuck off.”

“Come on. I know you’re mad and you have every right to be?—“

“You don’t belong here anymore.” He kicks at a watch chain and it skitters over the floor.

“She came to me last night.” I step into the back room and start coming through the ash for anything that looks salvageable. “She had a pregnancy test with her. At the time I told her to forget about me and to marry Adriano anyway. Maybe they do the math, maybe they don’t think the baby looks like him, but chances are everything would be fine. But as soon as she left, I felt wrong. Deeply wrong.”

Lev’s not moving. He stares at the ground, his jaw working. He looks angry enough to kill me.

But I keep talking.

“I thought about it all night and in the morning, I knew what I had to do. We had a moment of weakness in Paris and itshouldn’t have happened, but it did. I got her pregnant, and I couldn’t let her marry into a dangerous situation like that, not when it’s my baby she’s carrying. I had to do something.”

“You could’ve talked to me.” Lev stares at me. There’s hate in his face, but there’s also a deep sadness.

He feels betrayed, and I can’t blame him. Maybe Ididbetray him, but mostly I feel like I’m making the hard choice because it’s the right one.

“Would you have understood? Really, would things be different?” I shake my head when he doesn’t answer. “I knew the only way I could make sure that my baby is raised by its own father was by marrying Natalya, and she knew it too. We didn’t do this to hurt you. We did it for our child.”

Lev takes a deep, slow breath, and blow sit out. “Fuck you, Alex.” He lets out a hard, sharp-edged laugh. “That’s the thing with you. Everything’s got to be fuckingright. You always walk around acting like you’re the moral authority on absolutely everything, but here’s the fucking truth. You’re just as fucked up as the rest of us. You slept with my god damn sister, with fucking Step’ssister, knowing full well she was arranged to be married to another man. You did that, Alex. You made that choice. So don’t stand there telling me you’re doing what’s right for your family. Fuck you and fuck what you think is right.”

I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. He stalks past me and leaves the burned-out building. I’m alone in the ruined back room of Fed Jeweler, in the building where I learned how to be the man I am today, in the wreckage of my past.

And Lev’s right.

I walk around acting like I know better. Like Iambetter. I hold myself to impossible standards because I feel like I can meet them.

But here I am, just as ruined as everyone else.

“That was a tough speech to hear.”

I flinch and look over my shoulder. A man stands in the doorway, head tilted in my direction. His dark hair’s swept back and his dark eyes take me in with a curious frown.

Valentin Zeitsev.

Thepakhanof the Zeitsev Bratva and Oleg’s boss, my boss’s boss, the head of the entire operation. He’s wearing an expensive dark suit and a crisp white shirt underneath.

“Maybe I needed to hear it,” I tell him. I bow my head slightly in respect.

Valentin steps into the room. He looks around curiously and kicks some debris with his thousand-dollar loafers like he doesn’t care if he gets ash all over them. He runs a hand through his hair and I catch a glimpse of tattoos all over his arm and at the collar of his shirt.

“You’re lucky, you know.” Valentin picks up a charred ledger—maybe the book I used to catalogue our new watches, it’s hard to say—and tosses it aside. Flakes of paper flutter through the air. “If Marino hadn’t done this, you’d be dead right now.”

I go very still. My heart rate ticks up but I will myself to stay calm. “How’s that,pakhan?”

He tilts his head, frowning. “I’m amazed you have the balls to call me that.”

“Until I hear otherwise, you’re still my leader.”

“What if I ordered you to cut your own throat.” He stares at me, deadpan. “Would you do it?”

“I’d bleed out at your feet.” I think I mean it too, but there’s a voice in the back of my head.If I die now, my child grows up without a father, and this was all for nothing. That conflicts with my deep sense of loyalty, and I don’t know how to square the two things.

“I almost believe you.” He smiles slightly and lightly brushes some ash from a table. “Fortunately, we don’t have to find out. Marino chose violence, which means killing you will do nothing. That would only be appeasing them and letting them get away with their bad behavior. Do you know how much money was in all this product?”

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