Page 16 of Claimed By Desire

“Maybe to you, but you know it’s everything to me. Before Step brought me in, I had nothing. I had less than nothing.”

“I know, you’re right. The Bratva’s good for people. Gives them purpose. But sometimes I wonder.”

I don’t press him on whatexactlyhe wonders, because a gap opens in the group and I spot Natalya standing with Adriano.

She looks perfect. Her blond hair is swept back and the dress clings to her body, making her look both elegant and strangely erotica, despite the high neckline and the quarter sleeves. Her lips are painted red and her cheeks are blushing, and I can tell she’s deeply uncomfortable with the crowd around her. I wonder if anyone notices, but I see every line of her, all the tension and the nervous energy, and her hands come up to her face as her eyebrows raise in surprise?—

In front of her, Adriano’s down on one knee and holding out a ring.

I don’t hear what he’s saying. The guy’s not even smiling as Natalya holds out her hand and he takes it. I throw back my whisky and get to my feet.

“Where are you going?” Lev asks, barely paying attention to me. “This is just getting good. God, look at her, she’s mortified.”

“I’ll be back,” I mutter at him and glance one more time to Natalya.

She’s holding the ring up and showing the crowd. Her smile looks fake, like the grin of a woman who knows she’s about to be led by her hair to the gallows soon.

I can’t fucking watch this charade.

It fucking kills me, watching that man put a diamond on Natalya’s finger, and I don’t even know why. It’s not like I’d rather be in his place. Marrying her would be like chaining myself to a needy, bratty fucking doll. It’d be a fucking waking nightmare, and I don’t envy poor Adriano—I bet the guy has no clue what he’s getting into with Little Nat.

Except even as I tell myself how much I dislike that girl, a sick feeling washes over me. I stand outside in the cool air and try to get it together, but it’s like I’m going to vomit on the fucking sidewalk. I have to lean up against a parking meter and take deep breaths to get myself together.

What the fuck is going on with me? I don’t understand it. Watching Nat get engaged shouldn’t send me into a fucking panic spiral, but here I am acting like a young soldier taking his first life. It’s weak and pathetic, and I hate myself for indulging in this absurdity.

I’m better than this. I make a fist and bang it against the meter. The metal hurts my hand, but I do it again, and again, letting the pain seep into my bones.

I’m better than this.

I work twice as hard and ten times longer than anyone else in this family. I breathe the Bratva, because like Lev said, it gives me purpose and guidance.

Without the Bratva, I’d be nothing.

Once I have myself under control again, I walk back inside. The party’s beginning to wind down and Nat managed to extract herself from the crowd. She’s sitting at a table alone near the entrance, looking down at her big diamond ring, and I wonder if it’s what she’s always wanted.

“Congratulations,” I say, forcing the words out.

She looks up, startled. Then a scowl settles on her face. “Very funny.”

“You’re not happy? I thought you’d be excited. Look at that ring.”

“If you like it so much, you can fucking wear it.”

“Right, of course you don’t like it. Nothing’s good enough for you, right?”

“You don’t get it at all, you asshole.”

“Alright, Nat, good talking to you.” That’s what I get for trying to be nice to her. I turn away and storm back to the bar.

Lev’s waiting there and he greets me with laughter, back to his usual boisterous self, and I drown myself in whisky to get the image of Adriano sliding his ring down Natalya’s perfect finger.

Chapter 6

Natalya

Iopen the box and stare down at the beautiful Givenchy dress.

It’s two pieces, light blue, with simple pale pink jewel work along the chest and down the side of the skirt. The material looks light but is soft to the touch, and I’m pretty sure it would show off my belly if I put it on.