Page 44 of Claimed By Desire

“You’re here taking care of yourself.”

“I can’t seriously just sit around your apartment all day.”

“What did you expect?”

“I don’t know.” Reality begins to assert itself. I’ve been able to hold it back until now, but life is a series of logistical hurdles and I’ve ignored mine for long enough. “I need clothes. Toiletries. I need my stuff.”

“I can arrange for that.”

“It’s all back at my dad’s place.”

“I’ll handle it.”

“Alex—“

“I said I’d take care of it.” His jaw flexes as if he’s annoyed that I’m worried.

“I just don’t want something bad to happen if you go there.”

“And you think it would be better if you showed up.”

He’s got a point. Lev won’t even take my calls. I can’t imagine what my dad might say.

“How are we going to do this?” I ask him, struggling to hold back tears. He doesn’t need me getting all emotional on him right now, but I can’t help myself.

My world’s crumbling around me. I’m married and living in a man’s apartment, but I’ve never felt more alone.

My breathing gets fast. Sweat drips down my back and my palms are clammy. I put a hand to my chest and my heart’s racing wildly. I stagger up from my stool and walk away, trying to get myself under control, but I feel like I’m falling faster and faster, and down below is only more blackness, like I’ll never stop dropping down and down and down.

“Nat,” Alex says and his hands are on my arms. “Nat, deep breaths.”

“I fucked up,” I say trying to listen to him, but I’m dizzy and freaking out. I lean into him. “I fucked up,” I keep saying.

“Just breathe.” He’s surprisingly gentle. I half expected him to be annoyed by my emotional outburst—honestly, I’m kind of embarrassed by it—but instead, he’s patient and kind. He strokes my shoulders and hugs me against him until I manage to get myself into some kind of shape.

“Sorry,” I say, not looking at him as I disentangle myself from him. “I shouldn’t make my emotions your problem too.”

“You are the mother of my unborn child. It’s my duty to care for you.”

I look up and stare into his eyes, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s his duty to care ofme, or if he’s caring for the baby I’m carrying.

“Our marriage really is off to a great start, huh?”

He gives me a small smile. “Life is always interesting with you around, Natalya.”

For whatever reason, I like the way my full name sounds on his lips.

He gets me settled after that. I don’t have my stuff, but he gives me what he can—spare clothes, spare bathroom stuff, whatever else he can—and I set up a little nest for myself in the guest room. There’s also a master and an office upstairs.

When I’m alone again, I try calling Maria. She doesn’t answer, and doesn’t respond to my text. I try Irina next, and get the same lack of response.

I try Lev, and this time, he picks up. My heart leaps into my throat.

“Stop calling me,” he says, sounding tired.

And hangs up again.

Chapter 17

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